Operation MIAB
by Clumsy Owl
Summary: Based off of Pokepika's Haunt's story "30 WAYS AND COUNTING ON HOW TO MAKE MARCO MIAB!". Prank war between Marco and Thatch/Ace Rated T for minor hints at nonexistent yaoi  seriously, it's all joking and very light, and the occasional swear word.
1. Chapter 1

Day 1: And so it begins…

AN- these are all based off of Pokepika's Haunt's "30 ways and counting on how to make Marco MIAB" so these ideas are not mine, only the story lines. Please read and enjoy ^^

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Luffy: Mommy? Where do babies come from?

Marco: brat, don't call me mommy. And where did that com from?

Luffy: well, ace and Sabo were talking about how that one lady was gonna have a baby soon.

Marco: Erm...

Luffy: mommy?

Marco: well... Um... Don't worry about it. They come from mothers.

Luffy: well how do mothers get them?

Marco: uh... Well you see... When a man and a woman love each other, a ball forms in a woman and the ball developed into a baby.

Luffy: ooh... So wait... Why don't you have any babies?

Marco: ...what?

Luffy: don't you love whitebeard? He's daddy and you're mommy. So why aren't you having any babies?

Marco: do I look like a woman to you?

Luffy: (looks Marco up and down before nodding)

Ace: (from afar) Is that really a question?

Marco: I BLAME YOU! (pointing at ace) why'd you have to burn everything and replace it with (gestures at clothing) this-this stuff?

Ace: because it's funny. Do I need any otter reason? Besides, wearing it was your choice.

Marco: … shut up...

The end

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AN- I thought I should make this clear; Luffy is completely innocent. What she just did was pure curiosity and not because she wanted to make Marco MAIB.


	2. Chapter 2

Day 2: Operation Make Marco Uncomfortable

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Ace: Hey Marco! Maaarco! MarcooOO! (inhales deeply) MAR-!

Marco: WHAT?

Ace: (kiss) you're looking very pretty today, so I wanted to give you this. Now I know about your love for the very sexy men we all lovingly call admirals and I just wanted you to know that I told each and every one of them that you wanted to kiss him, and luckily for you, one of them returns it! Isn't that amazing?

Marco: ... I'm walking away now... (turns and starts walking)

Ace: Wait! Don't you want to know which one?

Marco: Go AWAY

Ace: Tch tch tch. I don't see how, but it seems the old man is PMS-ing.

Marco: WHAT? I am NOT OLD! You insane little brat!

Ace: you see what I mean?

Thatch: what's going on?

Marco: ace is being annoying

Ace: am not! You're just mad that I told all three admirals of your feelings! Now they might find out you aren't only a two-timer, but three-timer! Oh. That and your PMS-ing

Marco: am not!

Ace: are too!

Thatch: gosh! For an old lady like yourself, you really get around, huh?

Marco: UGH! I give UP!

Ace and Thatch: (high five!) operation: Make Marco extremely uncomfortable- complete.


	3. Chapter 3

Day 3: Marco gets paranoid

AN-Ok different POV

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Dear Journal,

That is how you start one of these, right? I haven't ever written a journal before (even though your practically as old as I am) and therefore, I have no idea. But I do believe I'm supposed to introduce myself? Maybe? Well I'm not because no one will ever read this as I am going to burn this page as soon as I am done writing it. So lets just continue onto the reason I am writing today.

I am extremely annoyed and refuse to lose my control in front of my nakama. I am the first mate of the whitebeard pirates and I do not lose my cool. So now I just need to vent.

My day started when I woke up to Thatch's gaud-awful singing of the 'song that never ends'. Thankfully it did end when I got up and threw a pillow in his face. I decided that since I was up, there was no way the universe was going to allow me to go back to sleep, so instead I made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. I nearly lost it right then and there when I saw the bottle of FRIGGIN HAIR TONIC on my counter and smelled the distinct odor of bleach coming from my shampoo bottle. After this, I was in no mood to be around anybody and locked myself in the crow's nest while everyone else had breakfast.

Lunchtime came around and my mood was a little better (and I was half-starved) so I decided to join the crew for lunch. After retrieving my food and sitting down next, Ace came and sat himself next to me with a plate full of food and started to poke me with both index fingers (because you know, 1 just simply isn't enough) until I asked a bit too loudly what it was that he friggin wanted. I am still utterly confused about what came next but I think it went something like this:

Ace: (at the top of his lungs) I AM THE ULTIMATE QUEEN SUPER FLYING NINJA PIRATE PRINCESS DRAGON SOUL REAPER KING! FEAR ME!

He got into a traditional ninja-fighting stance and kicked me in the shin.

Ace: (running away and screaming) RUN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME CAUSE I'M THE GINGERBREAD MAN!

I am still confused even after writing it down. I reach for my sake, thinking all I needed was a little alcohol to tide me over and get me through, when it suddenly WASNT THERE. When I looked up to demand who had the f***ing nerve to take my sake, I saw Thatch holding a now empty plate that used to hold my beloved alcohol. I left before making a bigger scene than was already made by Ace and went to my room.

When I walked in, I swear the chaos that started could easily be compared to that which happened in the parent trap. The newer one, the redhead. Personally I prefer the older one but that's beside the point. When I finally stopped sliding on a newly waxed floor (only because I stepped in syrup and my feet were sticky) and feathers and water balloons filled with liquids I don't want to identify but they were definitely not water and getting hit in the face by books on strings, I finally got a good look around my room. I could feel my eyes widen with every slow, tightly controlled breath that I was quickly losing my grip on. Every small object: my watch, my pens, my friggin doorknob, was encased in a thick layer of Jell-O, each a different color. My inflammable bed sheets were replaced with powerpuff girl cotton ones. My pillow, goose feather before, was now cotton filled and so NOT fluffy. It had a note on it saying "I thought it was disturbing how you slept on your own feathers that you probably collected during malting season, so I replaced it. I hope you don't mind too much."

Then I really did lose it. The destruction of my one sanctuary that I could rest assured no one would enter was the straw that broke the camel's back, so-to-speak. But before I could go off on anybody, I heard someone approaching my door humming "mission impossible". It turned out to be both ace and thatch and they were quite enjoying themselves with my sanctuary's destruction.

Before I hit either one of them, I grabbed you and went to the crow's nest. That's where I am now. I have one last thing to say before I burn these pages though. I think the universe is out to get me. Some unseen force is making all these weird things that are happening to me, not just today but for the past three, and is finding happiness in my misery. Maybe I'm just being paranoid... Oh well. I feel slightly better now so I'm going to go grab some dinner. You, on the other hand, are going to undergo a series of chemical reactions that will leave you as ashes floating in the wind only to fall in the ocean and sink to the bottom or be eaten by mindless fish.

Good-bye.


	4. Chapter 4

Day 4: Luffy joins the battle

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Thatch: (whispering) pst! Luffy!

Luffy: (turning to thatch) Huh?

Thatch: wanna have some fun today?

Luffy: uh, duh!

Thatch: (grinning) great! Ok, lemme get ace and we can explain the game we are going to play.

Luffy: yay! Games!

(Time passes)

Thatch: ok I've got him.

Luffy: ok so what is this new game?

Ace: thatch and I have come to call it Operation MIAB. What that stands for is unimportant at the moment. Thatch and I have been playing for the past three days, so today is day 4. We're going to need you're help though.

Thatch: if you decide you'll help us, you can't say a WORD to Marco, ok?

Luffy: ok I'll help. But why can't I say anything to Marco?

Thatch: because then it will be pointless!

Luffy: ok. Not sure I understand, but oh well. So what do I do?

Ace: (grinning mischievously) ok. Here is your mission...

(More time passes while ace, and thatch fill Luffy in on her part)

All three conspirators: Ok 1 2 3 BREAK! (Turned and ran off in different directions)

(With Luffy)

Luffy: Hey Marco?

Marco: huh? What's up?

Luffy: are you cheating on me?

Marco: what do you mean 'cheating'?

Luffy: so it's true? You're cheating on me!

Marco: am not!

Luffy: Are too! Liar!

Marco: Wth? How could I cheat on you when we aren't even together?

Luffy: You are MY pillow! And yet you let other people sleep with you!

Marco: (pausing) Luffy, I am not allowing other people to use me as a pillow.

Luffy: How can I know that?

Marco: you'll just have to trust me, ok?

Luffy: ... We'll see (walks away)

Marco: (shakes head and starts walking off to... Somewhere)

(with Thatch)

Thatch: okay, here we go. (Standing in Marcos room)

(Even more time passes)

Thatch: finally done (snickers) I cannot wait to see the look on his face when Ol' Tail feathers see this.

Marco: (walks into his room and sees Thatch) Wha- WHAT THE HECK!

Thatch: SURPRISE! (Runs away laughing)

Marco: THATCH GET BACK HERE AND GET MY ROOM BACK TO NORMAL! I just cleaned up the Jell-O from yesterday, too... (Let's out an exasperated sigh an inspects new arrangements) I refuse to sleep in this...

(With ace)

Ace: MARCO!

Marco: coming out of his room carrying a basket of bird cookies) what now ace?

Ace: Lookie lookie lookie! (Holds up a paper)

Marco: (after a brief glance at the paper) why did you dray a pineapple with my clothes on it?

Ace: BECAUSE IT'S YOU, Duh! Honestly, my drawing skills aren't THAT bad!

Marco: I beg to differ.

Ace: Hey! Meanie! What's got you in a foul mood?

Marco: You and thatch have been harassing me for the past 4 days! Should I not be a wee bit upset?

Ace: Here, maybe this will make it better (kisses Marco)

Bystander: (who also happened to be around when Luffy was yelling at Marco) Now you can say you did cheat on Luffy, eh Marco?

Marco: HOW COULD I BE CHEATING ON LUFFY?

Ace: You jerk! How could you cheat on my innocent little sister?

Marco: (Finally loosing it) Waaaa! Why do you people hate me?

(With the conspiring trio)

Ace: I think that was pretty successful.

Thatch: meh, could have been better, but MAN the look on his face was priceless!

Luffy: I still don't understand why you kissed him, but oh well. Was he really allowing others to use him as a pillow?

Ace: of course not, Lu.

Luffy: good.

Thatch: should we stop? His composure finally broke.

Ace: (whining) But TThaaaaatch~ we still have so many more things on our list~

Thatch: Haha! That's right I forgot! I really wanted to try a few of those.

Ace: that's the spirit!

Luffy: so can I help tomorrow?

Ace: of course Lu!

Thatch: poor Marco. If it weren't so much fun to torture that man, he wouldn't have to suffer so much.

Ace: but it is

Thatch: so he does

Luffy: and so we shall

(end)


	5. Chapter 5

Day 5: And the Poor Man's torture continues….

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(Location unspecified for safety of conspirators)

Ace: everyone here?

Luffy: Si senior!

Thatch: Ita vero, amice!

Ace: stop mixing languages please... It hurts my head...

Luffy: Cur? (Why?)

Ace: I thought Thatch was the one speaking Latin! And because I'm a science person, not a language person. I don't do well with foreign languages so please stop doing this to me. We're torturing Marco here.

Thatch: fine

Luffy: I suppose...

Ace: great! So what's on the agenda for today?

Thatch: I've got the list right here. Take your pick (pulls out a looong roll of paper)

Luffy: I want... THAT one! (Points to a number)

Ace: I call this one (points to a different number)

Thatch: k. This one I mine then. Oh this will be fun!

(Fades out)

(With Thatch)

Thatch: hey Marco (a bit too cheerily for Marcos comfort)

Marco: I'm getting bad vibes about whatever it is you're about to tell me.

Thatch: oh it's not TOO bad.

Marco: just tell me.

Thatch: ok! Pops wants to talk to you (grinning)

Marco: ok. I'll go over right now.

(With whitebeard)

Marco: yeah pops?

WB: Ah Marco! I wanted to talk to you!

Marco: ... I'm getting the same bad vibes...

Wb: oh this isn't TOO bad

Marco: that's what thatch said. Spill it

Wb: wow someone's a bit cranky

Marco: that's the result of being harassed for several days in a row. What did you expect

Wb: (laughs!) lighten up! Here put this on and follow the instructions TO THE LETTER and at least one of us will feel better.

Marco: (hesitantly takes the bag Wb gives him unaware of the contents) why do I have the feeling it won't be me.

Wb: (laughs)

(meanwhile)

Vesta: Ace! What do you think you're doing here?

Ace: making a pie.

Vesta: Why? (Genuinely curious)

Ace: it's for Marco. I admit I haven't been too nice to him lately...

Vesta: (chuckles) so I have heard. Is that an apology pie?

Ace: (grinning) nope!

Vesta: (shaking his head) I'll feign ignorance. That way I won't be killed along with the rest of you.

Ace: fine by me.

(back with Marco)

Marco: What in the name of all things good and plenty makes you think I'm doing this? (Holding the garment and a piece of paper. Both were in the bag previously mentioned)

Wb: captains orders?

Marco: Thatch put you up to this didn't he?

Wb: I can't say he didn't mention it, no. (pulling the most innocent face he could manage without laughing at the memory of Thatch's proposal)

Marco: (grumbling) I'm going to kill him.

Wb: no you won't. Now get your butt in that and follow the instructions.

Marco: fine...

(Later. On deck)

Marco: (wearing an oversized chicken costume and looking none too pleased) (standing in the middle of the deck for all to see) (shouts and sings) I don't want to be a chicken. I don't want to be a duck so I'll shake my butt! (Claps) I don't want to be a chicken I don't want to be a duck so Ill shake my butt (claps) (repeats again for another four times)

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thatch: Haha! I knew I could count on pops!

Wb: Haha! Yup! I definitely feel better (grinning)

Marco: (when done) THATCH! PREPARE TO DIE!

Thatch: Uh-oh got to go! (Starts running around with the chicken chasing him)

(With ace)

Ace: hehehehe! Now that was funny! Ok, now it's my turn!

Vesta: ok. Now I am curious. You have to tell me what's going on.

Ace: no can do. It'll be harder to feign the more you know.

Vesta: Brat...

Ace: but for dinner, if you could load everyone with a LITTLE extra food...

Vesta: I see where this is going and NO!

Ace: Pleeeease?

Vesta: fine... But only a little.

Ace: YES!

(at dinner)

Marco: (happily out of the prison of embarrassment aka the chicken suit) finally some food and sake.

Ace: that was a beautiful display you made earlier. I certainly made my day.

Marco: tch! Brat shut up! I was ordered to.

Ace: (raises his eyebrows and looks at thatch mouthing) you asked pops?

Thatch: (nods)

Ace: Haha!

Marco: I said shut up?

Ace: I don't want to! A moment like that should be remembered far and wide

Marco: I said shut up! (Flicks a bit of food at Ace)

Ace: oh it's on. FOOD FIGHT!

(Whole crew starts throwing food everywhere)

Ace: (takes out oh pie he made specially for Marco)

Marco: (in an intense battle with thatch and not paying attention to ace)

Ace: (slams the pie in Marco's face)

Marco: (pauses to lick his lips) ...banana cream?

Ace: not even close

Marco: huh... (Wipes his face and smears the cream over aces face) there. Now you try it and tell me it isn't.

Ace: I made it! I think I would know what type it is.

Thatch: HEY LUFFY!

Luffy: (dodging flying food) yeah?

Thatch: will you tell us what flavor pie is on Marco's face?

Luffy: SURE! (Takes some cream from Marcos face) hmm... This is vanilla cream.

Ace: THANK YOU!

Marco: is not!

Luffy: Is too!

Marco: is not!

Luffy: (whistles) HERE STEPHAN!

Ace: is too!

Marco: is not!

Ace: Luffy is right!

Marco: there is definitely banana in he- (tackles by Wb's dog Stephan to the ground)

Ace: Ha!

(Stephan licking the cream off of Marco's face)

Marco: why me...?

(The end) 


	6. Chapter 6

Day 6- Marco's retaliation

A/N Ok this one was based off of Pokepika's Haunt's "30 Ways to make Ace MIAB". I hope you enjoy ^^

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Marco: hey Luffy

Luffy: Hiya Marco!

Marco: listen; I have a proposition for you. I think you'll like it.

Luffy: ok. Lets here it

Marco: I know you've been helping Ace and Thatch with their pranks. Or at least you did yesterday. Not so sure about the days before that. Anyways, I want your help in revenge. I know the leader is Ace even though thatch might not realize it yet, so my revenge will be centered on making him suffer. You with me?

Luffy: (nodding) yup! Sounds fun. So what do you want me to do?

Marco: YOSH! Alright, well first...

(Later)

Marco: Yo ace!

Ace: what's up?

Marco: there is a man with green hair over there sucking face with your sister (points in a random direction)

Ace: WHAT? (Completely enraged)

Marco: calm down. I think he's her friend. What's his name again? Zephyr? No. That can't be right. Zelon? No that's even farther off... Hmm... (Pretends to think)

Ace: ZORO! ILL FRIGGIN FRY YOU UNTIL YOURE NOTHING MORE THAN A FEW ASHES FLOATING IN THE WIND! (Now burning (literally) with the desire to do just that and running in the direction Marco had previously pointed)

Marco: sheesh... (Talking to self) ok Luffy. I'm counting on you.

Ace: (barging into the hallway, where Zoro was indeed kissing Luffy softly) get your filthy hands OFF my little sister before I burn you to a crisp (said in dangerously soft voice)

Zoro: what's your problem?

Luffy: A-ace? (Nice acting eh?)

Ace: I said get away from her!

Zoro: (backed away)

Luffy: Ace no! He was helping me!

Ace: (approaching Luffy to stand protectively between them) how is snogging you helping anybody?

Luffy: erm... Well... Uh brother? Look up...

Ace: (looking up) oh... Um... Who in their right minds put mistletoe on the ceiling of the hallway?

Luffy: I don't know. But Zoro freed me! See ya! (Runs away giggling with Zoro following)

Ace: well this sucks...

Marco: (thinking it was over and walking in to see the aftermath) so did you turn him into a pile of ashes floating in the wind?

Ace: no... (Looking away from Marco)

Marco: what's wrong?

Ace: why didn't she call someone to help her rather than rely on that pervert who is too old for her to save her from the mistletoe?

Marco: what mistletoe? (Genuinely confused)

Ace: (pointing up) that mistletoe. Help?

Marco: (seeing the decoration) ah. I see. Why should I?

Ace: Pleeeease?

Marco: after the emotional trauma I was put through, heck no.

Ace: marcooooo! Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty preeeetty pleeease? With a cherry on top?

Marco: ... What would you do for it?

Ace: (pausing) I'll refrain from killing Zoro... And tell you who put the egg under your pillow last night.

Marco: deal. (Kisses ace)

Ace: FREEDOM!

Marco: now spill!

Ace: it was thatch. Bye! (Runs away)

Marco: so now I need to get payback on thatch... Meh.. That can wait...

Ace: (who stopped running when he caught up to Luffy)(Zoro went to hide) you could have warned me!

Luffy: don't blame me! You walked under it before I could say anything.

Ace: did not! You had plenty of time.

Luffy: so... How you get out?

Ace: shut up. I wont kiss and tell.

Luffy: haha ok ok. But I want to tell you something.

Ace: what is it?

Luffy: 1) please don't kill Zoro. He happens to be my boyfriend of several months. I'll never forgive you. 2) Zoro and I are going to become marines instead of pirates. Their views are so much clearer than those of the pirates. And 3) Garp sent a letter the other day saying that a few yaoi fans among the marines have paired you up with a few of the marines. All of the admirals were on this list and Garp is a little scared to know that not all of them objected...

Ace: (who went into a state of shock when Luffy mentioned the word boyfriend, a mental break down when she said join and marines in the same sentence without the word never, and emotional turmoil when she said the last sentence) ...

Luffy: ace?

Ace: ...

Luffy: ya there? (Waving hand in front of aces face with no reaction)

Ace: ...

Luffy: (sigh) SALVE! HOLA! Konichiwa! Bonjour! Ah what's another way to say hello?

Ace: argh no more please! Too many nonsensical words!

Luffy: they all mean the same thing...

Ace: well then say it in a language I understand!

Luffy: minime!

Ace: (growls)

Luffy: down puppy!

Ace: I am not a puppy! Puppies are baby dogs and do I look like a dog? No! I am human! HUMAN! An ADULT homo sapiens! The two are as separate as oil and water!

Luffy: you're wrong.

Ace: am not!

Luffy: yes you are (walks away)

Ace: am not! Hey! Don't you walk away from me!

Marco: Revenge is sweet...


	7. Chapter 7

Day 7- From the darkness

(Begin)

Marco: Hey Luffy!

Luffy: Marco!

Marco: Can you help me again today?

Luffy: Didn't you already get your revenge? I don't think Ace could take anymore of yesterday. He's still going on about "perverted men who are too old for innocent little girls", and "rabid fan girls with cold hearts and poor taste", and not allowing me out of his sight so I wouldn't run off to join the "corrupt government that runs this world that is being swallowed by their own greed."

Marco: That just means I succeeded in putting him through the same amount of torture he put me through. But he's not the one I want to get today. Today's target is Thatch. So what do you say? Are you in or out?

Luffy: (After a moment of thought) I guess. Do you have anything in mind? 

Marco: not really… Do you?

Luffy: hmm… I have one or two possibilities.

(In the kitchens)

Thatch: Hey! Has anyone seen my knives? They aren't where I left them. (Looks around for the knives and spots Ace trying to sneak some food) Oi! Don't take food that isn't yours!

Ace: Sorry... I just don't want to eat in the dinning hall today.

Thatch: Huh? Why not?

Ace: (Shivers) Because Marco retaliated yesterday and Luffy has gone traitor.

Thatch: ...Ace? What did they do to you?

Ace: (starts shaking) horrible horrible things, Thatch. I think you might be safe, though. I think Marco went after me because he knows that I was the instigator of Operation MIAB. He got his revenge. Although, I may or may not have told him about the egg you placed under his pillow...

Thatch: (eyes wide) you WHAT?

Ace: I said I~

Thatch: I heard what you said! Why'd you have to go and do that?

Ace: I was sort of trapped and had to grasp at whatever straws I could reach. I'm sorry Thatch. I couldn't find another way out.

Thatch: ... So you threw me in front of the horse to get your own ass out of the fire? If the time ever comes when there is a zombie apocalypse, I'm tripping you.

Ace: Fair enough. (Makes a mental note never to board Thriller Bark with Thatch) Just watch your back. Luffy and Marco know us too well and can easily find the right buttons to push to make us lose our minds.

Thatch: Ok. Now I have to know what they did to you. Come on~ you owe me for telling Marco.

Ace: (Tells the story of what happened the day before). And so now you know why I can't eat in the dinning room.

Thatch: You flat out _told_ Marco I was the one who put the egg under his pillow! Jerk!

Ace: Well what was I supposed to do?

Thatch: Oh I don't know! Maybe offer a different, less harmful and backstabbing piece of information?

Ace: That was most harmless thing I could think of that Marco would accept!

Thatch: Oh, yeah! Harmless to you maybe! Now I'm the one in the line of fire!

Ace: I'm sorry! Just watch your back ok? Who knows what those two are cooking up for you? (Leaves the kitchen with some rolls)

Thatch: HEY! I told you don't take food that isn't yours! (Sighs and looks around and starts muttering to himself) Now where are my knives?

(With Marco and Luffy)

Luffy: Do you think this will be enough?

Marco: I am more after psychological trauma than I am physical harm (adjusts objects a bit)

Luffy: Well this will be interesting. Too bad we can't really watch.

Marco: I'll be asking Pops for detailed descriptions. You could listen in too if you'd like. Do you have everything you'll need?

Luffy: (Nods) Sounds good to me. Let's go (both leave the room).

(With Thatch)

Thatch: (After finding his knives and cooking breakfast) Yo! Ace! I don't see those two in the dinning hall. You can eat in peace on this fine morning.

Ace: I'd like to hear you say that at the end of the day…

Thatch: I wouldn't say that at the end of the day. It'll be evening, or night, depending on how you looked at it.

Ace: You know what I mean. Anyway, thanks for the heads up. I'm gonna go eat now. Care to join?

Thatch: Sure. But if they are actually planning to attack you again today instead of me, and I get the backlash, I'm moving.

Ace: Deal. I really don't think they'll attack me again, though. Luffy doesn't actually want to drive me insane.

Thatch: I suppose… (Sits down) OUCH!

Ace: What?

Thatch: (Now standing and rubbing his tush) Something just pricked me.

Ace. Is that a knife sticking out of your chair?

Thatch: (Looks at the sliver of the knife sticking up out of the seat of his chair, not enough to actually hurt, but certainly enough to cause discomfort, and then looks under the chair at the rest of the knife) Yup. There's a note attached to it, too.

Like a ninja, we strike when you least expect it. Like a hound, we will not relent. Like a real pirate under the name of Whitebeard, we will always pay what is owed. Prepare yourself, Thatch.

Ace: Now you can't blame me for anything that happens today, 'cause they are definitely after you.

Thatch: Because of you.

Ace: So? It's your own fault. You put the egg under his pillow.

Thatch: He wouldn't have known it was me, until you told him!

Ace: He would have figured it out eventually!

Thatch: So~ what do you think they'll do to me?

Ace: Well, you don't have any younger sisters dating someone without telling you, or an old crazy man wanting to enlist you into the marines, or scary fan girls with impossible fantasies. They don't have that kind of fodder for their fire.

Thatch: But what do they have?

Ace: I don't know…

Marco: (from some unseen place) Let the game begin.

(Later)

Thatch: AHH! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP~

Ace: What happened?

Thatch: They- they hid all the beer and a banana peel keeps appearing out of nowhere and tripping me, and I SWEAR it's the same peel, and I dropped something a few minutes ago and so I bent down to pick it up and when I stood back up, THIS! (Points to hair)

Ace: (Looks at the once light-brown hair) Oh come on. Is pink and blue polka dot really that bad? (Trying not to chuckle)

Thatch: YES IT IS! They could have had a little better taste in colors, for one, and two, it isn't the polka dots, it's the fact that they were able to do it so quickly and without my noticing!

Ace: Well did you consider the possibility of your hair being colored before you dropped your item?

Thatch: YES I'M SURE! I saw my reflection in the window and it was normal!

Ace: "Like a ninja, we strike when you least expect it." I think they are having fun with their plans.

Thatch: Have you no sympathy?

Ace: oh I have loads of sympathy. But I'll save my energy and not show it until after the day is done. That way I can show all my sympathy for you at the same time. Until then, you're on your own today like I was yesterday. Don't die!

Thatch: If I do, I'll come back and haunt you.

Ace: Fine by me. I'm glad that you'll stick around even when you're gone.

Thatch: Go die in a fire….

Ace: That's not possible.

Thatch: I know.

Ace: Then why~?

Thatch: I don't know. I'd miss you if you were gone. Who would I make fun of Marco with?

Ace: Aw~ I'd miss you, too.

Thatch: AW FLYING FISH-MONKIES!

Ace: What! 

Thatch: They continue….

Ace: How?

Thatch: I don't know! Suddenly you're freckles were all connected! (c'mon. who doesn't want to play connect the dot with freckles? I do it on myself all the time)

Ace: GAH!

Thatch: WILL THERE BE NO END!

Marco and Luffy: (From a hidden place) There will, Thatch, there will. But until then, we'll have our fun in making you go crazy.

(The End)

A/N- Ok there are a few things I would like to point out:

No there is no list put up about making Thatch MAIB

If there was then this would have been up several days ago

I wouldn't have had to rewrite this because I thought the first draft was way too mean…. (cries ) I'm SORRY THATCH! I destroyed the evidence and now those cruel jokes no longer exist. You can rest easy…

Their pranks on Thatch weren't clarified for a reason: I simply couldn't think of things that would faze Thatch other than sheer paranoia…

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO TOOK THE TIME TO LOOK AT THESE! It makes my heart smile


	8. Chapter 8

Day 8: to continue or not continue. That is the question.

M: Whatcha up to, Luffy?

L: Shh! I'm about to pull a prank on Zoro.

M: Something tells me he isn't going to be too happy to be woken up.

L: That's what makes this so much fun! But don't worry. He always forgives me. If it were Usopp or, heaven forbid, Sanji, then all hell would break loose.

M: Ok. Just don't hurt anyone.

L: I'll try. Hey, are you planning or pranking Ace or Thatch again today?

M: (blink) Nah. I got my revenge on them both. I see no need to continue this if I already received retribution.

L: Retri-wah?

M: Retribution. It's another word for revenge, vengeance, or justice.

L: Oh. Ok. Then why didn't you just say that?

M: Why would I?

L: Because then I would understand it better.

M: But it's fun to confuse you. That, and you need to build your vocabulary, little one.

L: (pouts) do not. And don't call me little. I am not that short!

M: Wanna bet?

L: No! There wouldn't be any solid conclusion because it's a matter of opinion.

M: Good. You're learning.

(With Thatch and Ace)

A: Yo! Thatch!

T: Hey! What's up?

A: I have some interesting pieces of information to give you. But first, I need to know if you are still mad at me for telling Marco about the egg.

T: Meh... A little, but I could over-look it if you tell me what info you have that got you so wound up.

A: Ok. (Takes a deep breath to prepare himself for a really long speech) Over the course of the last 18 hours, starting last night at 20:00, and ending about three minutes ago, I picked up several interesting rumors from our fellow nakama. Usually, gossip doesn't interest me all that much unless it is about my brother or is something especially juicy. Knowing that, I suggest you listen, and listen good.

Thatch: Well. It isn't good. It's well.

A: tch! Whatever. You know what I mean. Do you want to hear it or not?

T: Fine. I am sorry. Please continue. (Does a little bow for added effect)

A: (ignores the mockery in Thatch's words an action) As I was saying. I have several new pieces of info and I though that I should be kind and share them with you. The first piece of intel I am going to share with you is this: Marco does not plan on attacking either one of us today or any other day in the foreseeable future.

T: yes!

A: I thought that might make you happy. But, there is more. Our brothers and sisters aboard this very ship, have come to call the last seven days "The Prank War of the Decade". Seeing as our pranks were so much funnier than they seem to realize, I believe that "decade" should be promoted to "century". My goal: get it up to "millennium".

T: What! You are officially insane! You just told me Marco plans to stop. Meaning the "prank war" has ended. I don't plan on attacking him because I don't want another day filled with things appearing from nowhere. I don't think you want another day filled with Zoro and Luffy giving you any surprises that your brotherly instincts may or may not be able to overcome. For all you know, Luffy could say she was pregnant. Not that I am saying she is...

A: (eye twitch)...

T: See? So lets stop this now before you start getting seizures.

A: But what if I told you that there are bets placed on the winner of the war and a prize?

T: why would that interest me?

A: well, the bets put not only our reputations on the line, but also our pride. We are Whitebeard pirates! We do not stand for blemishes on our name. As for the prize part, what if I told you it was to be captain for a day?

T: ok. You have me on the first part, the second, not so much. Do you realize that in some ancient civilizations, they would allow someone to act as king for a day or a week, and then sacrifice him? I don't want to end up dead because I was captain for a day.

A: you forget. That was ancient times. This is the modern era. We don't sacrifice to gods or monsters.

T: so? We could still be thrown overboard!

A: fine! Mr. Buzz-Kill. You can refuse the prize, but an injury to our pride? How could you ignore that?

T: like this. (Turns around)

A: Very mature. You do realize they have heavy odds against us, right?

T:...

A: that means they all believe Marco is going to win.

T:...

A: and by not continuing this, that means he is.

T:...

A: and all those people who gave us the benefit of the doubt will be crushed and lose their money.

T: ...

A: and their faith in us will disappear and we will be all alone in our future endeavors.

T: FINE! I'll do it.

A: YES!

T: What's the plan?

A: (pulls out blueprints) right here! Study it, memorize it, know it. This is going to be so much fun!

T: (after a careful examination of the blueprints) Well I'll give you points for intricacy, but just out of curiosity, when did you come up with this?

A: This morning. Are you ready?

T: Yeah. Let's do this.

(late that night)

M: (on his way to his room) yaawn! Sleep. Finally. (at his door) (a/n- he is thinking these things. He doesnt seem like the type to talk to himself late at night, even when exhausted) this was the first peaceful day I have had in a week. I'm kinda sad to see it end. (opens his door, walks in, closes door, and flips on the light) ... And to think I would be able to get some rest... (looks around. What he sees is not the cabin of Marco, first mate and first division commander, but of Marco, the phoenix, or in this case, Marco, the parrot. His windows were removed and replaced by thin iron bars. His bed was replaced by a giant nest. There was a thick wooden poll running from the middle of one wall the the middle of the opposite wall. The floor was covered in newspaper and in the corner of the room were to huge bowls, one filled with water, the other with a variety of seeds, dried berries, and vegetables. To complete the picture, there was a rope hanging from the ceiling with a round mirror suspended on it and blocks of wood suspended below the mirror. It was frigging bird's toy!) I am going to kill them both. It will be a slow and painful death with very little bloodshed, because that would be a pain in the ass to clean up. (he sighed) And it's too late to clean this up and I am too tired. But there is no way I HELL I am sleeping in here! (turns around with the intent to sleep outside or in the crows nest and sees a slip of paper on the door)

Paper: Hey Marco! Do you like your new room? I think it suits you very nicely, don't you? If you don't, oh well. You'll just have to live with it until tomorrow. The door locked automatically behind you, so you're stuck. Just make yourself comfortable until the morning. Good night, Birdie!

M: Damn them. Damn them to the seven circles of hell and beyond. (sigh) oh well. What's the worst that could happen?


	9. Chapter 9

Day 9- the worst that could happen

_The next morning came around all too slowly for Marco. He had spent the night in what he could describe as nothing less than hell on earth. It did not end when he woke up either. The night before, deciding that, no, he was not going to be sleeping in some nest, instead, he would sleep on the perch. That way, if anyone saw him, he could at least avoid the roosting jokes. Now, in the morning, he woke up to his door unlocked. Relieved, he emerged from his room and walked out on deck. There, he froze. Everywhere he looked were photographs of him sleeping on his perch in his zoan form, because it's just awkward to sleep on a perch in human form, and everywhere he looked, people were guffawing and laughing at the pictures.  
><em>  
>oh gawd. I am never gonna live this down/

_The next thing Marco knew, he was on the ground, underneath a the body of a person who was laughing and saying,_ "Did you have a nice sleep?" _It was Ace, the Fire-Fist brat._

M: Get off.

A: If I do, will you promise not to hurt me?

M: I can't promise something I have no control over.

A: But you do have control, just not the will. So I guess this means I am staying right where I am.

M: OK! Fine! I promise not to hurt you…. If you can say you weren't the one who took the pictures.

A: I can't say that.

M: Because you took the pictures or because you're protecting Thatch?

A: I can't answer that either.

M: You suck.

A: Aw! Don't be such a grouch.

M: I feel I have a right to be what I want to be. And right now, I want to be a grouch, so let me be a grouch.

A: But that's no fun. A prank war is only fun if everybody enjoys it.

M: I never enjoyed this… except when I was getting back at you, but that was over.

A: See? It can be fun for you, too! So lighten up and promise not to kill me?

M: Just out of curiosity, since when was this a prank war?

A: Since the crew decided to start calling it that.

M: Ah. I see. Fine. I promise not to kill you for now, but no promises for the future in return for one small piece of information.

A: What do you need?

M: Who came up with this idea?

A: Uh… gotta go! BYE! (Takes off running)

M: ACE! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!

A/N- I'm sorry! Please don't kill me! I meant to have this up ages ago, I swear! Please don't kill me! I don't want to die!

**Hey, other than my plea for mercy, I have something else I want to ask of you. I need pranks. I am not exactly running low on my list of things I could use, but I would like it to be more bountiful. I have this weird mindset that doesn't allow my to do things in order and makes me jump around. Anything will help. I could use stories of things that happened to you or someone that you know, or things that you come up with, pet peeves, general ideas, anything! The list is endless; I just need your help seeing it.**

**Ideas get a hug and a warm mug of hot chocolate or cider?**


	10. Chapter 10

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! To everyone who favorited/followed this! You people are awesome! Also a special THANK YOU! To every one who sent me a review- you people rock my world and make my day a little brighter! Not even kidding or exaggerating. Seriously, I love reviews.

Ok I'm done now. On with the day.

Day 10

M: Luffy! I need your help today!

L: With what? More pranks?

M: Yes. Ace turned my room into a giant birdcage, locked me in it, and then spread a bunch of pictures of me sleeping inside it around. A minute hasn't gone by since that didn't contain a smirk, snicker, or the none-too-subtle bellow of laughter. If he wants a war, he'll have it, but I can't hold my own alone. Will you join me? Permanently, or at least until this war is over? I need an ally, Lu.

L: (considers for a moment) What will I get if I join you?

M: You will be given permission to harass your brother and Thatch, and extra meat at dinner.

L: Ok. I'm in.

M: Yes!

L: So now that I have agreed to join you, what will you have me do?

M: (thinks) I have no idea. We already revealed your relationship with Zoro, had you play the "I am leaving the pirate hood for the Navy" card, and pretty much gave Ace the fan girl-nightmare plague. We have also already followed thatch around like ninja-stalkers and gave him a small case of paranoia. I can't really think of anything else like those at the moment.

L: So do you want something elaborate? Or something effective?

M: Effective is key. Elaborate I bonus.

L: ok. Well if you can't think of anything elaborate, but effective, why not go with something simple but classic and effective?

M: What do you have in mind?

(With Ace and Thatch)

A: ...and so he was chasing me across the deck and I hid behind Pops. Marco was about to go phoenix on me but stopped after pops pointed out that trying to kill me that way wouldn't be very practical because I was fire. Marco actually SCOWLED at Pops and I think that was what finally made Pops ask what happened. (Ace tries to suppress a laugh and continues) A-And so I took out one of the pictures I was holding on to and showed it to him- (laughs a bit) and he-he starts laughing so hard th-that the nurses had to try to restrain him! Hahaha! (Tears of laughter stream down his face as he breaks down into uncontrollable laughter).

T: (Laughs along with Ace) Ahahaha! That's hilarious! I wish I were there to see Marco's face! That would have made everything totally worth it!

A: aha! Yeah. It was funny. By far tops everything we have done to that man by FAR!

T: Agreed! Though I could have done without the splinters and broken thumb.

A: There is a reason you aim before swinging a hammer. It's like in pool. You don't line your stick up perfectly and practice the movement just to change it up as you're doing the actual motion.

T: I know, I know. I just don't get how I could miss so often! I am surprised my thumb isn't mush from all the abuse it took just getting the perch up.

A: you didn't learn...

T: oh just shut it. But like I said, TOTALLY worth it.

A: absolutely! ... Pfft. His face when he saw everybody looking at the pictures! (Again breaks down into uncontrollable laughter) Excuse me. I have to use the bathroom for a moment. Be right back.

T: Haha! Don't piss yourself before you get there!

Ace didn't reply. He was too busy laughing his head off while trying to hold it and run to the bathroom in record speed. When he made it, he was ready to burst and quickly went to the toilet, unzipped him pants, and relieved himself. Sometime while he was doing this, he felt wetness on his feet, like he was standing in a puddle. He looked down and saw that that was exactly what he was doing. It took him a moment to register exactly WHAT he was standing in and how it got to be there, but when it finally did compute with his brain, he felt like an idiot. He quickly got some towels, a bucket, a scrubber and some soap to clean the mess up, all the while cursing Marco's name. When he was finished, he went back out to meet Thatch again.

T: Took you long enough. What happened? Did you fall overboard several times on the way back?

A: (bitterly) no.

T: What happened then?

A: Marco is what happened.

T: Oh really? So what was his revenge?

A: he put clear plastic wrap over the toilet and I didn't notice.

T: ... Hahaha! That's a CLASSIC! You should know to expect that sort of cruel trick in a prank war that, might I say, YOU started.

A: I know. I just thought we were being elaborate and original here. Considering his previous pranks, I didn't think he'd go classical.

T: (snorts) so... How messy was it?

A: Extremely.

A/N- ok. Sorry this wasn't up a little sooner. I just want to add a few things.

1) Marco and Luffy were not following Ace around to predict when and where he'll go. The put plastic wrap over every toilet on the ship, warned everybody to stay away from the bathrooms unless they want to be pulled into the prank war, and also told them to stay quiet about this so ace and thatch didn't find out.

2) Luffy and Marco were not formally a team until now. Now they are. So if you guys want me to come up with team names or want to come up with them yourselves, tell me. Please. Thank you

3) I know I said I am not running low on pranks, but I do love a huge list to choose from! Suggestions are very much appreciated :D (thank you Pokepika's Haunt!)


	11. Chapter 11

Day 11

A: good morning (not sounding happy)

T: Mornin' (sounding way too happy)

A: What's gotten you so happy?

T: What is there to not be happy about?

A: In other words- nothing. You're just one of those annoying glass-half-full kind of people.

T: Sticks and stone may break my bone but words will never hurt me.

A: and likes to use clichés.

T: ok fine. What happened? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

A: (scowls) no! My arms hurt because of all the scrubbing I had to do yesterday. And then again this morning because apparently, Marco didn't make the effort to undo their little trick so that we unsuspecting folk can pee without having to scrub for an hour.

T: You know some of the guys in my division were talking about that. They said something about being warned to check before relieving. So really, they didn't bother because they didn't have to and the joke would just continue.

A: and you didn't think to share that little tid-bit BEFORE I went?

T: I haven't seen you since yesterday and I only found out this morning.

A: Tch. Excuses.

T: Hey! Don't take your sour mood out on me.

A: (sighs) sorry Thatch. You're right. I shouldn't take this out on you.

T: Wait... come again? Did you, Fire-Fist Ace, world's biggest pyro and most stubborn person, just apologize? And ADMIT I was right?

A: Yeah. I guess I did. Don't push it.

T: Wow... (Looks up at the sky)

A: (Looks up as well) What are you looking at.

T: The sky. I'm waiting for a meteor to come and sink the ship or the four horsemen to appear.

A: HEY! It isn't THAT uncommon for me to admit someone else is right!

T: Says you! Ask anyone on the ship and they'll tell you the last time they heard you say that was in a previous life!

A: ...

T: See? You can't even deny it.

A: Just shut up.

T: ok ok. I guess that means I don't need to tell you who it is you should be directing your general bad mood towards?

A: no you don't. But I need to think of someway to get back at him.

T: if you were somebody else, I'd say fight classic with classic. But you're too flamboyant for that.

A: yeah, no. I won't do a classic. Those are cop-out pranks for those who can't think of anything better.

T: I have the feeling you'll regret those words in the future, but whatever. So what are you going to do?

A: (whines) I don't know.

T: Well you need to think of something or else you risk losing this war before you reached your goal.

A: Noo! Thatch heeeelp me!

T: why?

A: Because you and I are in this together! Don't tell me you're already backing out! You said you would help me!

T: Ugh. Fine. Since you seem to love extravagant pranks that take a lot of effort to pull off, why not try...

(With Luffy and Marco)

L: So I heard Ace scrubbing the floor of the bathroom again this morning.

M: (shakes his head) You'd think he'd learn.

L: Maybe he thought since we got him once, that would be it.

M: maybe we should take those off. There are other people here and not all of them know enough to heed a warning.

L: Yeah maybe we should... But on the other hand, it would be fun to have Ace fall for it again.

M: We'll find another way to make him suffer. And maybe include Thatch as well. He did help and therefore, should take part of the punishment as well.

L: I don't like that logic...

M: Why not.

L: Because I am helping you.

M: Oh. Yeah I guess you're right. Oh well. Let's go get those toilets unbooby-trapped.

L: Ok.

(Back with Ace and Thatch)

A: Are you sure this is going to work?

T: no. But according to the blueprint, it should. We'll just have to keep our fingers crossed and pray that it does.

A: We can only hope, then, I guess. I really don't want these last several hours to turn out to be wasted.

T: As do I. So do we want to be around when it's triggered? Or no?

A: Yeah. If it's a dud, I don't want to be waiting around to hear about a prank that isn't going to happen.

T: I suppose. But I don't want to be stuck in here while our brothers and sisters are eating either.

A: Ooo. Good point. Hmm... How about we quickly leave, grab some food and come back to wait?

T: Sounds good. Let's go.

(Later, a while after Ace and Thatch had returned with food)

A: good thing we got food. I'd be starving by now.

T: no kidding. You took all of mine.

A: That's your own fault for not protecting it.

T: It's my food! I shouldn't have to be guarding it with my life from moochers like you.

A: The fact remains that it's food. Therefore, you should ALWAYS guard it with your life. You never would have survived living my childhood if you had your mind-set.

T: Who raised you? A pack of hyenas?

A: Bandits and the great outdoors.

T: Well you're with Whitebeard's crew now and can rest relatively assured that you don't need to fight for food.

A: Not true. Luffy is still among is and that means no one is safe and should fight to keep every morsel.

T: No! You and Luffy should just be locked up with your share of the food in separate rooms during meal times. That way, we can all be happy.

A: You would-

T: (Cuts Ace off) SHH! I think Marco is finally coming.

A: (silently listening for the footsteps that were indeed approaching. Waits... Then hears an alarm going off, a sprinkler system activating, and a stream of curses) Yes! It worked!

T: Shh! He'll hear you!

M: Of all the-! ACE! THATCH! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!

A and T: (slowly rise from their hiding spot) (they see Marco, standing drenched beneath several sprinklers that were still showering him with water and he was holding a completely ruined stack of papers. He looks pissed)

M: YOU ARE BOTH HELPING ME REDO THIS PAPERWORK AFTER YOU TURN THIS WATER OFF! It took me FOUR HOURS to get this done!

T: Uh-

A: Erm-

M: (death glare)

T: (shifts uncomfortably) about that-

A: (laughs nervously) hehe... Umm.. It, uh, seems like we, uh, forgot to put in a way to turn this thing off...(mumbles the last bit)

M: You WHAT?

A: This would be a good time to use what the great outdoors taught me. Good Bye! (Runs away like a mad man)

T: HEY WAIT! Ace! I'm not doing the paperwork all by myself!

M: First, find a way to turn the sprinklers off before you flood the ship. Then we find out who gets to redo the paperwork.

T: (grumbles something under his breath about Ace and the conditions of his birth) Fine.

_It took nearly an hour to find a way to turn off the sprinklers without busting a pipe or causing more damage to the ship. After that, another hour to find Ace to settle the who's-gonna-do-the-paperwork issue.  
><em>  
>T: Well I'm not doing it.<p>

A: I can't! My narcolepsy will set in and I'll drool all over it.

T: you were the one who started this! So you need to grow up and take responsibility!

M: Oh Shut up both of you! You'll both get half so stop your whining!

A: Someone is pissed...

M: Yes. Yes I am. Now get started.

T: wait, why both of us?

M: Because you were both in this together, were you not?

A: Nope. It was all Thatch.

T: Was not!

A: Was too!

T: Was NOT!

A: Was Too!

M: SHUT UP AND GET IT DONE!

A and T: Ok ok. No need to get your feathers all ruffled.

_And so, as an unexpected consequence to their little sprinkler prank, the two were force to sit through several hours worth of mind-numbing paper work that would have taken less time if they hadn't been constantly trying to escape.  
><em>  
><strong>AN- thanks again for all the reviews! I really do like to read them. It's interesting to see some of the suggestions :D.**

**Also, if you guys see any mistakes whatsoever in my writing, please tell me. I won't take it personally, so don't be afraid to point any out. Just tell me so I could fix it and improve. Thank you!**


	12. Chapter 12

Day 12

_The next day, Marco was still in a pretty bad mood. This wasn't only because he had just watched four hours of sitting at a desk doing nothing but go through reports go quite literally down the drain (the paper just about dissolved from being water logged), but also because he had to spend several more hours late at night watching the two nitwits, who destroyed his work, try to redo it and making escape attempts all the while. You would think that two people doing what took one person did in four hours would be able to get done in about two, wouldn't you? Maybe more, maybe less. But you certainly wouldn't place bets on it taking SIX! So now, in the morning of the next day, Marco was still pissed with the addition of tired and out for blood, so-to-speak._

M: I need my coffee...

L: Oh hey Marco! What are you doing up this early?

M: Morn(yawn)ing. I'm always up this early. Why are YOU up?

L: (Yawn) Aww. You made me yawn. I'm up to watch the sunrise.

M: Why?

L: For two reasons: I like sunrises and because we'll be at another island soon. The navigator said we should be able to see it a little after sunrise. Well, actually he rattled off a bunch of numbers that fried my brain before someone else translated.

M: huh. That's news to me.

L: Why? Aren't you the first mate?

M: Well yes. But I was stuck at a desk all of yesterday.

L: Oh. Yeah I heard about that whole thing. How creative were they with their escape attempts?

M: They weren't. The most creative they got was trying to sneak out when I dozed off.

L: was someone else helping you?

M: No.

L: Then how were they not successful?

M: Do you doubt my instincts?

L: No. But I do doubt your ability to wake up when you hear footsteps.

M: Fair enough. Thatch bumped the table and Ace laughed at him.

L: That sounds like him.

M: Yes.

L: So what are you going to do now?

M: I have a pretty good idea. But it's a different prank for each of them.

L: Ok. Do share!

M: All right. So this is what is going to happen...

(Later in the morning when Ace woke up. Well, actually more like noon, when Ace woke up.)

A: Ack! I missed breakfast! (Bursts out of his room and runs down the hall where he finds a group of his brothers huddled around a small table) huh? Hey what's up?

**(I feel terrible about this, but I am not going to name the crewmembers. If I try, this chapter would take a week to post, no joke.)  
><strong>  
>Brother 1: Nothing...<p>

A: (cocks an eyebrow)

B2: Ah very intelligent reply, dummy.

B3: Who answers that kind of question with "nothing"? Especially when there is obviously something?

A: well if I didn't already know there was something, which I did when I first saw you, hence why I asked, I do now. So spill.

B2: uh- (searching for a lie to tell)

B4: We're just placing bets, Commander.

B2: Why'd you just tell him?

B4: Because he's my commander. Duh.

A: Bets? On what? Can I join?

B3: On the prank war between you and Thatch, and Marco and Luffy.

A: Oh. Sweet! Wait... Did you just say Marco and Luffy? Like, they're on a team?

B3: (nods) why?

A: SINCE WHEN DID THEY BECOME AN OFFICIAL TEAM?

B1: A few of days ago. I don't exactly know how many, but relatively recently. I take it you didn't know?

A: (Shakes head) No I didn't. So that means that Luffy had a part in pranking both Thatch and I as more than a consult, and we have only been getting back at one of them!

B4: It would seem so.

A: Agh! ...Wait... So whom do you have as most likely to win?

B2: that was a quick mood change...

B3: You're even. You and Thatch both have a fun and flamboyant and also stubborn nature but are able to get serious when you want to be. Luffy has a creative mind set but also an appeal towards the classics. Marco can get down and dirty when he wants and be really brutal. He is also patient, so he can bide his time and wait for the right moment to strike.

A: Huh. Interesting. Do we have names, or is it just Ace and Thatch vs. Marco and Luffy?

B1: No. Names.

A: Well that's no fun. We need names! I know! We will be the Faming Swordsman of Dawn and they could be Rubber Chicken!

B4: (chokes)

B1: (Breaks out laughing)

B2: I like theirs, but yours won't fit on the board.

B3: How about making you Flaming Sword?

A: Works for me. I'm gone. Food awaits.

B1, B2, B3, B4: bye!

(In the mess hall)

A: Morning Thatch

T: It's noon. And why are you so happy?

A: Because food is in front of me and I just had a really interesting encounter.

T: Huh? What do you mean, "encounter"?

A: Exactly what I said. There were four of our brothers placing bets on our war. They gave me a run-down and told me they didn't have team names for is chosen yet, so I gave them some suggestions.

T: really? What were the odds? And dare I ask what your suggestions were?

A: Even. And it isn't bad. We are Flaming Sword and they are Rubber Chicken.

T: they?

A: Luffy and Marco are officially a team.

T: That traitor... So you named them Rubber Chicken?

A: (nods)

T: HAHAHA! That's great! I hope they don't get killed for calling Marco a chicken though.

A: oh yeah. I didn't think of that...

T: oh well. What's done is done. By the way, did you hear we'd be docking soon?

A: What? How soon?

T: really soon. So eat up and come help.

A: Ok!

(with Marco walking down the same hall Ace was in previously)

M: (noticing the same four brothers who were still huddled around a table) Hey. What's up?

B1: nothing...

B2, B3: (face palm) you'd think he'd learn.

B4: You'd think the same of the two of you.

M: Huh?

B4: ignore them. They're being idiots.

M: ok. So what's going on?

B4: Placing bets.

M: Can I join?

B4: Isn't there some kind of morality issue against placing bets on yourself or the opposite team?

M: myself? What? And not that I ever heard of.

B1: Yeah. We're betting on your prank war.

M: Oh. Let me see. What are the odds?

B4: Leaning neither one way nor the other.

M: ... Who the hell decided to name the sides Flaming Sword and Rubber Chicken?

B4: Commander Ace.

M: Well then change them to Flaming Shitheads and Phoenix Kings.

B1: How about a compromise? They could remain the way they were and we'll just change yours?

M: Fine. We're about to dock. So go and help prepare.

B1, B2, B3, B4: Right away, sir.

(A minute before the crew is released to explore and cause chaos on the island)

W: Ace! Thatch! Come here for a moment!

A: This can't be good.

T: Don't be so negative. This is Pops we're talking about.

A: Exactly. This is Pops we're talking about. In this prank war, he could be counted as a mercenary who could work for either side.

T: So you're saying-

A: Yes.

W: (when the two summoned stood in front of him) You two are both ship-bound for the day.

A: WHAT?

T: Why?

W: I need someone to baby-sit a few of my children who are ship-bound. You two just seem like you would be good babysitters for them. Enjoy.

A and T: Marco...

A: next time, we need to get him so good he'll wish he never has to show his face again

T: Agreed. He is going down like nobody's business.

L: (Running across the deck to jump off the ship seconds after it docked) See ya!

M: (Following Luffy) We'll get you a little souvenir. Which would you like better, a picture or a t-shirt?

A: How COULD YOU? We only dock once every few weeks or so! Sometimes not even that! How could you get Pops to keep me ship-bound?

M: (leaning in and winking at Ace) Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

A: GAAAH! You'll pay for this!

M: No. You're paying for destroying what took me four hours to create, and then wasting my entire night. Have a good day aboard the Moby Dick, Fourth-Division Commander Ace. (Follows Luffy off the ship).

T: Calm down Ace. We'll get to get off at the next island.

A: No! I will not calm down! There were so many materials I wanted to get for our next prank but it's all ruined! For all we know, the war will be over before we reach the next harbor and Team Rubber Chicken will have won.

B2: (who just happened to pass by and hear) actually, Marco changed it to Phoenix King.

T: like from that one show, The Last Air-Bender? Wasn't he the evil guy who was overly ambitious and had a crazy daughter with no friends?

A: And then lost the war to a twelve (?) year-old kid?

T: And the daughter lost to a water-bender girl who was also the kid's not-yet girlfriend?

B2: Yes. I hope that isn't a bad omen for their team. I placed a bet on them for 2k belli... And wait... You do realize that not only did you just tell me that the two of you have way too much time on your hands to be watching cartoons, but you also basically said that Marco is an overly ambitious warlord, Luffy is a crazy power-hungry princess-sorry-Fire Lord, you (points at Ace) are a twelve year-old kid who is childish but has his bouts of wisdom, and you (points at Thatch) are Ace's not-yet girlfriend who always goes off on a tangent about morality or hope or something of the like?

A:... Did you just...?

T: ... I agree with the first part, but the last has absolutely NOTHING to do with us.

A: (nods) I mean come ON! I am not childish!

T: And I don't go off on tangents about morality or hope.

B2: sorry if I offended you. (Backs away slowly before bolting)

T: humph. Morality. Tch!

A: (under his breath) childish. Ha! I am more mature that he'll ever be.

W: (who was silently watching the scene before him play out with amusement) (in his head) notice how neither one of them said anything about being Ace's not-yet girlfriend.

(A few moments pass)

A: AND THATCH IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE MY GIRLFRIEND!

T: (at the same time as Ace) AND I AM NOT NOR WILL EVER BE ACES GIRLFRIEND. For one, I'M A GUY!

W: (still thinking) Ah. There it is.

(With Team Phoenix King)

M: Ok I do feel a little bad about this one.

L: Do you think we should tell them we'd still be here tomorrow?

M: I know I said I feel bad, bit I still want to rub it in their faces for a little while longer. We could tell them after dinner... Or in the morning. Or not at all and wait for them to figure it out.

L: ok. Should we get them a shirt as a souvenir anyway just to help rub it in?

M: Absolutely.

L: Yay! Aniki will probably just torch it but who cares? Let's go! (Grabs Marco's arm and pulls him along with her to the marketplace) Hurry! There is FOOD!

**A/N: I yawned SO much in the beginning. And then again just now... Dang. Yawns are really contagious, no?**


	13. Chapter 13

Day 13

_The morning after Team Phoenix King's payback, Ace found out that the crew was staying for several days at this island. Although he sees that there really was no damage done, he was still fuming. They had tricked him and he spent all of the day before believing that he wouldn't be able to step foot on land until their next stop. Also, at some point during the night, a board was places just under the mast that read, "Team Flaming Sword- 6" "Team Phoenix King- 4" "Odds- 1:1"  
><em>  
>A: THATCH!<p>

T: What? No need to yell. I'm six feet away from you.

A: Look! (Points to scoreboard) Look and tell me where the mistake is!

T: (Looks) ... I am guessing the odds?

A: No! We should have a '7' next to our name! Not a '6'! We pulled off 7 days of pranks on Marco so we should have a '7' next to our name!

T: No. 6 is right. The last one backfired so it was unsuccessful.

A: Tch! But it was successful because it did what it needed to do!

T: but it wasn't because it hurt us as well. Your logic sounds like something the marines would say after triggering a barely successful buster call. Who cares how many of their own died or got hurt in the process as long as they accomplished their goal?

A: Don't compare me to the world government, Thatch. Not even jokingly.

T: Sorry. I just wanted you to see why it was '6' and not '7'.

A: I guess you're right, though. Let's go make it a '7', shall we?

T: We shall.

A: To Land!

(On the other side of the ship)

M: What should we do to them next, Luffy?

L: I get the feeling you're actually enjoying this war.

M: I am. I spent far too long putting up with their little jokes and now I'm actually getting my revenge.

L: Oh. Fair enough. Did you see they put up a scoreboard for the war?

M: I did. Too bad it was written in Sharpie. If it were chalk, I could have changed their name to what it should be.

L: which is?

M: Flaming Shitheads.

L: Well that's not very nice. They could also change ours to something equally offensive.

M: Like Rubber Chicken?

L: Actually I was thinking more along the lines of rubber ducky, but yeah. How did you know?

M: that's what they told them to name us yesterday and I changed it before they actually wrote it down in Sharpie.

L: Oooh. That makes sense.

M: I wonder if Ace is mad about the fact that they didn't count their sprinkler prank as a point.

L: Most likely.

(On the island with Thatch and Ace)

A: Ah-Ah-Ah-Chooo!

T: Somebody is talking about you.

A: I hope it isn't pineapple-head.

T: Speaking of Marco, did you get everything we need?

A: yeah. Did you?

T: Yeah.

A: Then let's head back and put this plan into action.

(Later on the Moby Dick)

T: Done with my part. Are you ready for yours?

A: Why do I have to be the one to put his neck on the line?

T: Because you didn't want to handle the carpentry.

A: you wouldn't let me!

T: want allow, same thing.

A: is not!

T: Quit your whining and go do your part already!

A: grumble grumble growl growl...

_In the following hour, the Moby Dick was seemingly very peaceful. There were no fights, no hammering, and no shouts of fury or laughter. There was only a quiet calm as the whitebeards relaxed in the afternoon sun. Team Phoenix King was no exception. Marco was taking a nap in the crow's nest. Luffy was taking a nap next to Zoro. Team Flaming Sword was also no exception. Thatch was relaxing on the deck, waiting for his part of the plan to play out. Ace was having a quiet, well-hidden nervous breakdown as he waited for his to play out. There was no way to tell exactly how their prank would go, but both Thatch and Ace could tell that it was not going to be pretty when it plays out._

_The whole crew was alerted to chaos as soon as Monkey D. Luffy woke up though. And the peace was broken.  
><em>  
>L: BOSHI! WHO THE HELL TOOK MY HAT!<p>

A: /oh shit. I had better hide. /

L: (rampaging through the ship) WHO STOLE MY HAT!

A: /location location location/

L: RAWWR (catches sight of her brother)

A: /crap! I am so going to die! /

L: ACE! Do you know who stole my hat?

A: (swiftly hides the hat behind his back) nope. Not at all. What? Did you say stole your hat? Nope. Don't know who did it. Maybe it was your boyfriend (the word tasted bitter on his tongue) as an attempt to get back at all the little things you do to him in his sleep?

L: huh? (So trusting) Zoro would never do that. He knows how I get when my hat goes missing.

A: well maybe he lied to you? If so, you should break up with him. My little sister doesn't need a boyfriend and he's too old for you anyway (a/n-ace is so subtle, no?)

L: (blinks) Zoro would never lie to me about something like this. And he isn't too old. We're two years apart.

A: that doesn't change anything.

L: And neither does your telling me to break up with him for no good reason. Now WHERE IS MY HAT?

A: I don't know (intelligence at its best)

L: (Sees edge of rim of her beloved hat poking out from behind Ace's back) BOSHI! (Realizes) wait... YOU! (Points at ace) It was YOU who stole boshi? HOW COULD YOU? GIVE IT BACK!

A: huh? (Takes hat out from behind his back) Oh look, Luffy. I found your hat.

L: You were the one who TOOK it. Now give it back or so help me I will MURDER YOU!

A: uh~ no. (runs away like there was a monster chasing after him)

L: (Chase Ace like the monster she was when Boshi was taken from her) ACE! Prepare to DIE a slow and painful death if you don't give it back RIGHT NOW!"

A: /oh please don't let this be my last day on Earth. I value my life. I truly do. Don't let her kill me/ NEVER! /oh heavens above! What was I thinking shouting that? /

L: RAWWR!

A: (shouts at people in his way) MOVE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

L: GIVE. BOSHI. BACK!

A: NO! (Propels himself forward, away from Luffy, using his fire to give himself enough time to ditch the hat in a random corner then bolt off again and hide)

L: ACE! Arg. Where'd that hat-stealing brother of mine go? (Stops running and looks around and spots Boshi lying abandoned in a corner) BOSHI! (Runs and picks it up and immediately places it on her head and walks back to the somehow-still-asleep Zoro)

_Marco had watched the event between Ace and Luffy play out since Luffy had woken him up. From his spot in the crow's nest, he was able to watch as ace dove into a hiding spot when Luffy turned the corner and spotted her hat in the corner where Ace had thrown it. He could also see Luffy begin to scratch her head as she walked back to her boyfriend, who was astoundingly still asleep even though the rest of the people on board were jolted awake by Luffy's cry of "BOSHI!"_

M: /so he put itching powder in her hat, huh? Well I guess that's their prank for the day and I am safe. / (Climbs down from crows nest and starts walking back to his room) /I can only imagine what Luffy will want to do to them tomorrow.../ (opens door to his room and is alerted by high-pitched sounds) what the- THATCH!

T: (Appears from among the things cluttering up Marco's room) Yes Marco?

M: What the hell is this?

T: (grins) "This" is an assortment of pet birds they sell on the island. Ace and I thought you got a bit lonely being the only bird you see during our voyages until we get to another island. So we thought we'd get you some friends and allow you to be amongst your brethren during the long months between stops.

M: My WHAT?

T: your brethren. You know~ others like yourself. Aka birds.

M:... And here I was thinking today's pranks were over and the bird jokes were all used up...

T: Nope! Good-bye. I'm going to go turn that obnoxious 6 into a good ol' 7. (Somehow avoids Marco and runs away into the hall)

M: Damn... Now what am I supposed to do to all of these? (Referring to the birds in various sized caged and all a unique breed and color) ... But I have to admit you're cute! (- Talking to a light blue parrolet that could fit comfortably in the palm of his hand)

**A/n- Ok. Admittedly not the fastest I have ever updated. I am so sorry, but I meant to have this up Sunday or Monday, but its Wednesday now and I just finished it :( please don't hate me!**

**L: Don't hate Indigo! She tried to get it done but her mom wanted her to play video games and guilt-tripped her! And then there was the HW!**

**M: Video games?**

**L: Yeah. Her mom gets bored and likes to play them. Indigo is the only one around the house who has the time to play with her.**

**M: oh. She sounds pretty cool. Anyway, please forgive Indigo or direct your hate towards Team Fire Sword and give Luffy and I some ideas on how to take them out!**

**L: DOWN WITH THE HAT THIEF!**


	14. Chapter 14

Day 14

_Luffy started her day early and sulking. The previous night, after her scalp wouldn't stop itching, she had visited Selma and was told she had somehow gotten itching powder on her head. Luffy put two and two together and was now having to keep her beloved hat OFF her head for the first time since it was given to her. So when morning came around, she woke up with the first rays of the sun and immediately went to look for Marco, who was always up and about BEFORE the sun.  
><em>  
>M: Luffy? What are you doing up?<p>

L: (Pouting) boshi~...

M: Oh. Right. So how are we going to get revenge?

L: I was thinking something along the lines of destruction of property, or theft. Did they prank you as well, or did they just go after me?

M: Did you hear any birds last night?

L: (Nods)

M: Then there is your answer.

L: (Eyes wide) they put birds in your room? How many? Can I see? May I pet them?

M: Sadly. Umm... I believe around 9... Let's see, there were two blue Indian ring-necks, four blue budgies, a blue lovebird, a blue jay, a blue macaw, and a little blue parrolet.

L: Lots of blue...

M: I think that was the point. Thatch did say he thought I should be amongst my brethren.

L: Can I pet them?

M: (shakes head) birds need twelve hours of sleep a day. Leave them be.

L: aw~. Then why don't you get twelve hours of sleep a day?

M: Because I have work to do.

L: So does Zoro, and he still does a lot of sleeping.

M: I have more work than he will ever have to deal with.

L: Not true. You have paperwork; he has me to watch over.

M: You're admitting that you're high maintenance?

L: No. I'm only saying it takes a lot of work to take care of me.

M: That's the- never mind. How and what were you planning on destroying?

L: Ace made my hat unwearable for who-knows-how-long, so I plan to make his unwearable. I'm going to have it incinerated and its ashes will be tossed out into the sea that its master loves so much.

M: You do realize his hat, and the rest of his clothes are fireproof, right? They were designed that way so he wouldn't become an exhibitionist after every battle.

L: (Frowns) then what should I do? Steal it?

M: Nah. Be more creative then that. What time is it?

L: It's around 6. Why?

M: Great! Ace doesn't like to wake up until 10 at the very latest. Until then, you could kick him, toss him, yell in his ear, dump him on his rump, and he'll still be comatose. If he has it his way, he'll stay in bed until lunch is being served and then eat both breakfast and lunch in the same sitting.

L: What are you getting at? Wake him up?

M: Precisely. Only do it in the most obnoxious and cruel way possible. Do you get what I am saying?

L: (Thinks for a moment) yeah. Do you have any thread I could use?

(With ace)

Ace's day did not start out as a happy one. He had gone to bed the previous night a few hours after midnight and, therefore, being woken up at 6:45 to the song, "One week", blasting in his ear was not the best way to start his morning. It took him a moment after being woken up to realize that the annoying sounds were coming from noise-canceling ear buds placed firmly in his ear. After pulling those out he still heard the music, only it was LOUDER. He searched for the source, and this time found it was coming from his hat. He looked all over it and after a good seven minutes, found a small seam in the rim of his hat that was only slightly different from the rest of the seams. Something about the color of the thread being only a touch brighter than the rest. He hated to do it but he cut the seam and found a small flat device playing the song. He quickly took it out of his hat and found a way to turn it off. The room was still not silent. The music still continued to play, some still coming from his hat, some from his pants, and, after a few more seconds, his pillow, his mattress, his ceiling, his desk, his door, his wall, just outside his window, and to top it off, his water bottle. They must have been on a timer or something because they turned themselves back on after every two minutes.

A: RAWR! Why wont these stupid things SHUT UP and LET ME SLEEP! It isn't fair!

When he had finally uncovered them all, he decided that instead of just turning them off every two minutes, he was going to take them and chuck them out his window and into the deep blue ocean, that wasn't actually as deep as it usually was seeing as they were in a harbor still.

A: Finally! Sleep~ (lies down and almost immediately begins to snore).

(Ten minutes later)

A: (Hears more loud music. This time it was "It's a small world") hdkdkshjriwkdba! Die music! Die and let me sleep!

(With Team Phoenix King)

L: (On deck and able to hear Ace's loud curses) humph. That's not even the end of it aniki. There are still another 3 rounds to go.

M: (standing next to Luffy) would you like to do the honors and add a tally to our board or shall I?

L: You aren't going to prank Thatch?

M: Oh I will. Just not today. Today is Saturday. My prank will only work tomorrow.

L: Why? What's tomorrow?

M: Sunday.

L: I knew that! But what is so special about Sunday?

M: You'll see.

L: Meany.

M: Patience is a virtue you should cultivate.

L: (Sticks tongue out at her teammate and goes to add a tally to the board).

**A/N- Sorry! This was way late! For future reference, I'll most likely only be able to update on weekends.**

**Also, Pokepika, I am so sorry but I could make myself destroy his hat. I love it too much :(**

**I have absolutely NOTHING against those songs, I just chose two of the songs that easily get stuck in my head and stay there.**

**If you guys think of any ideas for pranks, do share. I like lots and lots of options ^^**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you all very much for the reviews :D they make my world go round ^^**

Day 15

L: Come on~ will you tell me NOW what it is you're planning?

M: Nope. You'll just have to wait and see.

L: please?

M: No.

L: Pretty please?

M: No.

L: Pretty please with a cherry on top?

M: Nope. Sorry Lu. Not even with a cherry on top.

L: Phooey.

M: Don't worry. You'll see soon enough.

L: (Pouts) but I wanna know now~

M: Like I said yesterday, patience is a virtue you should cultivate.

L: And like I said yesterday, (sticks tongue out at Marco).

M: Cute.

L: So how long do I have to wait?

M: Time?

L: It's about 10.

M: ok. Mail is delivered at noon, so more or less two hours.

L: There isn't any mail on Sundays though.

M: I know. On this ship, we don't get letters and packages on Sunday's, just like everywhere else in the world. Instead, we get other things.

L: Like?

M: you'll see.

L: darn you.

M: Nice try though. (Walks away)

L: Phooey...

(Noon. With Thatch)

T: (whistling) Mail's here! (Opens mail box and sees the expected envelopes) Let's see... Report, report, report, news, report, ah! Here it is! (Picks out one envelope and places the rest on his desk). Paycheck! (Opens envelope and pulls out letter that says how much he is given)

Letter:

Monthly Evaluation:  
>Expenses- 80000 belli<br>Savings- 20000 belli  
>Allowance- 10000 belli<br>Total- -50000 belli  
>Fourth Division Commander Thatch, you owe the Whitebeard treasury 5000 belli. Until you can pay off your debt, you are hereby cut off from the funds of the Whitebeard Pirates. I suggest you find a second job on the island for a bit until you can pay it back. We leave in a few days. I suggest you hurry.<br>Signed- First Division Commander  
>Marco<p>

T: (pale faced) Shi~it! How the heck did I end up so far in debt? I balanced every purchase I made and I should have at least 2000 belli left over! How in the seven seas did I spend an extra 50000 belli? That's impossible!

A: What are you yelling about?

T: (shows Ace the note)

A: (low whistle) that's a LOT of money. Are you sure he isn't messing with you?

T: why would he do that?

A: (waits a moment)

T: THE BIRDS! Just because I put birds in his room, he thinks that this kind of this is fair? This is overkill!

A: oh I'm sure he is making up for more than just the birds. I'd go talk to Pops about it though.

T: ok... I am not looking forward to this conversation if this is legit.

(With pops and Thatch)

T: Hey Pops? Can I ask you something?

P: Of course! What's eating at you?

T: Well, this month's paycheck came in today, and usually I wouldn't care because I always stay well within my limit, but this time, when I opened it, it said I owe the treasury 50000 belli.

P: (suddenly serious) what do you mean, "owe the treasury 50000 belli"?

T: (pales and hands Whitebeard the note)

P: It seems you do indeed owe the treasury. How in the name of Davy Jones did you get it that high?

T: That's the thing. I have no idea.

P: well have you made any big purchases?

T: yeah. The birds I put in Marco's room.

P: and how much was that?

T: (thinks for a moment) around 800 belli. Most of the birds were rescues and the owner wasn't interested in making a profit. The only ones I actually had to buy were the lovebird and the parrolet.

P: 400 each? That's expensive.

T: no. 700 and 100. The lovebird had a rare mutation so it turned blue.

P: that's crazy.

T: (shrugs) it's exotic like Marco. They're kin.

P: (Laughs) Don't let Marco hear you say that!

M: Too late. Thatch, shouldn't you be, I don't know, looking for a job out on shore?

T: after you explain to me how you figured a 50000 BELLI DEBT!

M: hmm... I don't remember. Yours was one of the first I did so I wasn't half asleep yet, so I highly doubt it was an error on my part. But I couldn't tell you because there were so many others that it would be impossible to remember.

T: So, what you're saying is I actually somehow dug myself this deep of a trench?

M: Yup. Go to land, Sea Legs, and find yourself a job.

T: I'm going! I'm going!

(After Thatch left)

P: That wasn't very nice of you.

M: Neither was him putting me in a chicken suit, or changing my room into a giant bird's cage and locking me in.

P: But at least you knew what was happening.

M: So? I'll clue him in when he returns. Until then, I'm going to add a tally to Team Phoenix King's name.

P: (laughs) You are going to tear each other apart to the point where if you all hadn't gone insane by the time you decide a winner, I will personally bow down to each and every one of you.

M: I think it's too late for that. Ace and Luffy were insane from the start, Thatch was, well, Thatch was like the mad-hatter. And as for me, there was never any hope. I was doomed the moment I agreed to be first-division commander.

P: I suppose you're right. But give us some credit. You were crazy BEFORE you agreed. Otherwise you wouldn't have.

M: You're right. But then I had a chance of normality, but that was blown to smithereens.

P: True.

M: I suppose I have to go explain to Luffy, though, about my prank. She would kill me if I didn't.

P: Good luck.

M: Thanks.

_After Marco had explained exactly what he had done to Thatch several times because she had managed to avoid understanding it every other time, Marco's throat was sore and his voice was scratchy, like it is when a person yells a lot. She finally understood it when, several hours later, Thatch returned and Marco explained what he did to him. How that went down? Let's just say that Thatch was pissed because he had agreed to work at the bakery for ten hours a day until they left the port to pay off the nonexistent debt he owed the treasury. As a man, he wasn't going to leave the woman he agreed to work for stranded. She had told him she needed help as her two sons and daughter had all gone to visit their relatives in another town for a few days and without their help, she wouldn't be able to keep the bakery open until they came back. So Thatch was stuck. When Ace found out, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, Thatch had pretty much sold his soul to a woman and her bakery until the left port, and on the other, Thatch would be a more limited ally in their prank war. It was hard to get people to call it "The prank war of the millennium" when one of the players goes on a twisted form of vacation._

Scoreboard: Team Flaming sword: 7 Team Phoenix King: 6

**A/N- hey! Thank you thank you thank you to all who gave me suggestions ^^ my list is now officially two pages long (whoot!). I am willing to make it longer, though. I love a big list to choose from, as I have said before. So throw them at me (not literally please. I don't want to accidentally, or purposely, get hit on the head and sent to the hospital)! Thanks! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Thatch: You said you destroyed this!**

**Me: I said what, now?**

**Thatch: (Waves arm in a frantic gesture at the chapter) This! You said it was too cruel to post and you destroyed it!**

**Me: I'm sorry. I don't remember.**

**Thatch: Oh yes you DO!**

**Me: hmm... Nope.**

**Ace: Here. Let me help. Indigo, you remember that first day of Marco's revenge toward Thatch and I? You writing finished writing the one in which Marco and Luffy prank me, and you started writing the next one. But after about writing three quarters of it, you had second thoughts and wrote a different chapter.**

**Me: Hmm... Yeah I lied when I said I destroyed it.**

**Thatch: so I see.**

**Me: but now I am posting it, after it was revised, of course.**

**Thatch: WHY? You said it was too cruel!**

**Me: It WAS cruel. But I have had a change of heart and am now posting it, cruel or not.**

**Thatch: witch...**

**Me: BUT IT'S MY NAME!**

**Thatch: Whaa?**

**Marco: don't question it. Jus go with the flow.**

**Ace: you are such a hypocrite.**

**Marco: I know.**

**Luffy: On with the chapter!**

**Me: Yes! On with Thatch's torture! Mwahahaha**

**Thatch: Nooooooooooo!**

Day 16

_The day was unusually quiet. The sea breeze made the flag wave and flap, the waves lapped lightly against the Moby Dick, and the seagulls made it a point to disturbed the quiet as little as possible. For Ace, Marco, Luffy, and the rest of the Whitebeard crew the quiet was due to the absence of a certain someone who was currently re-obtaining his land legs to pay off a nonexistent debt, courtesy of Marco. This was actually the cause great amusement among the Whitebeard crew who were not included in the prank war between teams Flaming Sword and Phoenix King. Whoever, for the teams included, it meant boredom. Why? Ace had lost his team mate whom without he could not pull off any pranks that could be classified as "good enough" in his eyes, Marco couldn't torment his tormentor of several years, and Luffy had nothing to do but sleep and pull little pranks on Zoro. So all in all, the Whitebeard pirates enjoyed a rare day of peace._

_Or so they thought._

A: I am so bored!

L: Me too. But me agreeing with you doesn't mean I forgive you for what you did to boshi!

A: Well I still haven't fully bounced back from sleep-deprivation, so I figure your revenge is over.

L: getting revenge doesn't have anything to do with forgiveness.

A: I'm aware.

M: my first day of peace on weeks and I have nothing to do.

A: not even paperwork?

M: Nope. There aren't any new reports in yet and everyone is up to date on payments and so on.

L: So what should we do?

A: I don't know! I was planning on pulling something off today but the only thing I could think of was how little fun it would be to pull it off without Thatch!

M: sorry

A: that sounded SO sincere.

M: I didn't think he would be so committed to a new job though.

L: Job? What job?

A: Thatch practically sold his soul to a little old woman at a bakery. She begged him to work there until her children come back from out of town to help or until we leave. He said yes.

L: oh.

M: yeah.

L: IM SO BORED!

A: Me too...

M: Mhm.

A: (sudden idea) MARCO! I have an idea!

M:(rubbing ear) I'm literally standing right next to you. No need to yell.

A: Ah. Sorry. I got a little excited. What do you say to a little truce?

L: Truce?

M: It's a temporary agreement on both sides to cease attacking each other.

L: oh. But that would stop the war!

A: it would only be for today. But seriously, if we could do what I just thought of, we'll all be amused for the day. It's bye-bye boredom.

M: "bye-bye"?

A: Is there something wrong with me saying that?

M:... not at all.

L: what do you want to do?

A: I'm not telling you until Marco agrees to a truce.

M: fine. It's a truce. Though I still don't see what you want.

A: you will. We're going to go visit Thatch at the bakery. The more people we can get to join us, the better and more believable this will be. Can you gather up the best actors in your division?

M: Explain first gather later.

A: deal. Ok so this is what's going to happen if this can be pulled off...

_And so Ace began to explain what he wanted and how it should/could be done. Marco was more than happy to climb onboard with Ace's scheme, however Luffy was more reluctant, for reasons that will become blatantly obvious to the other two as the prank plays out, but she accepted and got her own crew to take part, minus Sanji. Marco gathered the best actors and most devious-minded members within his division. Ace gathered the most loyal and fun-loving from disown division and the most cynical from Thatch's. Altogether, they had a total of 42 people to join in on what Ace considered to be the best prank ever.  
><em>  
>A: I feel like we're missing something...<p>

L: Like what?

A: I don't know...

M: I don't think we're missing anything.

A: (snaps) Of course! Pops!

L: Did you just imitate Tintin?

A: Yes. Yes I did.

M: ok Phineas. What do you mean we're missing Pops?

A: We haven't included him.

L: but we already have 42 members... I don't want to deviate from that.

M: Why?

A & L: It's the answer to all things in the universe.

M: You are both such nerds...

A & L: (Smile)

M: So if we aren't including anyone else, and we have everybody here, why don't we go?

A: No reason not to. Let's head out men!

L: (mutters) I am not a man... (Follows Ace along with the others to shore and then to the small bakery where Thatch currently works)

A: Hey Thatch!

T: What? Is this your way of flaunting your freedom?

M: no. We were hungry and didn't want whatever the cooks were making, so we came down here.

T: then why is Luffy here?

L: I can be picky sometimes...

T: Yeah. Right. And I can turn into a unicorn that eats rainbows and poops butterflies.

A: So are ya gonna feed us or what?

T: I don't really have a choice, now do I?

M: Nope. You have to pay off that debt.

T: (glares at Marco) go die in a pit of fire.

M: You-

A: He's aware. He said the same thing to me and it boiled down to him not actually wanting me to die because he'd miss me.

M: oh ok.

L: FOOD!

A: Yes! FOOD!

Rest of the party: FOOD!

T: FINE! What would you like?

M: anything.

A: Everything.

L: Both.

T: That's pretty expensive, you know.

M: Yes we do. No hurry up and serve us, slave!

T: When did I turn into your slave?

M: You've always been my slave; I just haven't ever called you such.

T: (grumbles) fine. I'll get it.

(15 minutes later and everyone is sitting and has baked goods piled high in front of them)

L: Can we eat now?

M: Yes.

A&L: YAY!

L: (takes a bite of a cookie then, much to her displeasure, spits it out) BLECH! That's nasty!

A: (takes a bite of bread and makes a face) This is gross...

M: (Takes a bite of a donut and make a face as well) Is this even a donut?

The rest of the party had their own variations in which they all showed disgust in whatever they just took a bite of.

T: (pales) Guys stop it! You ordered it; you eat it or throw it away! Stop complaining! Surely I'm not that bad at baking!

M: we'll complain if we want to complain.

T: Stop! You'll ruin the old lady's business forever!

A: So? The baking is terrible anyway.

T: NO! It isn't!

M: Yes it is. If it weren't, then why would Luffy be spitting it out?

T: be- ... Am I really that bad?

L: (though it pained her to do it, she nodded seriously)

T: (starts to hyperventilate) but-but I worked so hard to get it right and-

A: Well these are terrible!

T: but-

A: No buts! I'm not paying for bad food. C'mon guys. Let's go.

Everyone: (gets up and walks out the door)

L: (turns and runs back into the bakery) APRIL FOOLS! These were delicious! (Dives into the baked goods and steals from other people as the rest of the party comes back in and starts to eat the truly magnificent food)

T: Wait... You guys ALL pranked me?

A: Luffy! Give me back my cookie! It's mine!

M: HEY! Get your paws off my- HEY!

L: (around a mouthful of food) Yes! We were bored on. The ship and Ace decided a fun pass-time would be to pull off a joint prank. I didn't want to do it at first because the original plan was to just leave and pay secretly.

M: But then Ace told her that there wouldn't be any wasted food and she jumped on board.

L: Of course! Free food!

M: Who said it was free?

L: (smiles innocently)

A: I told her I'd pay for her portion.

M: ok. As long as it's coming from YOUR budget.

T: Even in the midst of a prank war, my own teammate takes sides with the enemy.

A: A temporary truce for today. I can't do anything without you.

T: Gee. That makes me feel SO special.

A: (ignores sarcasm) as it should.

M: plus this way, we could all help the woman, to whom you sold your soul, by giving her bakery some business.

L: So it's a double-sided platter.

T: A wha~?

A: (shakes head) don't question it. Just go with the flow.

T: ok... Anyways, if you're helping out, then pay up and leave a nice tip.

M: ok to the first part. No to the last.

A: great! So Marco you've got the tab? Awesome! Let's go Lu! (Gets up and starts to leave)

L: Yay! (Gets up and follows Ace)

M: What? No! Get back here!

T: looks like he pranked you as well...

M: Seems so.

**A/n Ok. I know that this version might not seem all that cruel but that's because I forced myself to be nicer to poor thatch.**

**And I am SO sorry to the power of infinity for not getting this up sooner! I seriously meant to have this up a few days ago but I got delayed (again xP). Please don't hate me...**

**Last thing- PRANKS! Anything. Anything at all. Jokes! Pranks! Stories! Funny or cruel or both! I could use them all! I have enough to keep me going for a while, but I need variety. Otherwise things get boring for me to write and I feel like I'm trying to get nowhere. I like to write these but even the most fun things get boring at times (yes that includes bubble wrap and string).**

**Thanks for reading and a special thank you for reviewing! I love you all!**


	17. Chapter 17

Day 17

T: Psst! Marco! Wake up!

M:...

T: C'mon! Wake up wake up wake up!

M:...

T: Aren't you a rooster or something? I know you're awake. I need your help, man! Get up!

M: (sighs but doesn't open his eyes) it's called a phoenix. Phoe-nix. Now say with me. Phoe-

T:Roo-

M: -nix

T: -ster

M: (sighs) go away, Thatch. It's too early for me to be up, and that's saying something.

T: But I need your help. I need to get the message across to Ace that I was not ok with what he did to me yesterday, and since you were also dragged into it, I thought you would lend me a hand.

M:... I'm listening...

T: yes!

M: that doesn't guarantee that I'll do it, only that I'm considering, but I need to hear what you have in mind first and I swear on Whitebeard's name that if you double-cross me like Ace, then the next time I prank you will be the coming alive of your worst nightmares.

T: that's a bit extreme, but no need to worry. I have no intentions of betraying you.

M: then let's hear it.

T: ok. So before ace wakes up, we...

(Several hours later, after a long morning of Thatch and Marco working together to pull of what was nearly impossible- goes to show how far people bent on revenge are willing to go, huh?)

_Ace awoke under very strange circumstances. This wasn't exactly new to him. I mean, one time he woke up on the deck wearing a dress. Another time, he woke up on Pop's lap, curled up like a cat. Then another time, he woke up in the fetal position, hugging his pillow and sucking his thumb. That night, he had apparently been rocking himself and repeating, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home." as someone videotaped him. That was not a fun morning as it felt like he had no sleep whatsoever. But that's getting too far off topic._

_On this particular morning, ace awoke under a set of circumstances that were entirely new to him. For starters, he was actually covered by his blanket, which he would usually kick of off himself as the night wore on. He also had his head ON the pillow. Another thing that contributed to the strangeness, he found his body strapped to his bed with his back flush against his mattress. Oh, and one more thing, he wasn't looking at his ceiling anymore, but his floor. That's right, Portgas D. Ace was strapped to a bed, which was on the ceiling, along with all the rest of Ace's furniture._

A: (obviously confused) What the- how the- Huh! Why am I on the ceiling and how did I get up here without noticing? (Thought back to the dream he had last night. It was a very nice dream about the sea and a sailing, and then a thunderstorm on drugs rolled over the ship and thunder went off like nobody's business for a while as the see raged. Then all was calm again and Ace woke up) oh... Now what? (He struggled to get free of his restraints. He thrashed, tried to turn into flame but there was a small amount of seastone touching him somewhere, and finally gave up.) I'm going to murder whomever it was who did this... Whenever I get out. Getting out of this would kind of be important. Hmmm. (thought of ways to get out of his current situation) I guess there's no way around it. (Deep inhale) HHHEEEELLLLLLP! HHHHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLP!

L: (bursts into the room) Ace? What's- (takes in her surroundings) Ace? Where are you?

A: Up here...

L: (looks up and bursts out laughing) How did you get up there?

A: (in a flat voice) If only I knew. Could you help me down?

L: (struggling to control her laughter) S-sure! I'll be right back. (Runs out of the room)

A: Wait! Luffy! (Sighs and looks at the door) Are those...? (Squints at the package attached to the door with a note over it) Yes they are! Redvines! Must... Get... Delicious Redvines! (Tried to get out of restraints but to no avail) (Pouts) I want a redvine...*

L: (bursts into the room again) I'M BACK! And I brought a camera. (Begins to take pictures of the room with ace still in his bed.) You know, ace? Your room actually looks clean for once.

A: (glares) It's YOUR room that always looks like a hurricane hit it. Are you going to get me down or not?

L: Alright! I'm going!

A: God! Stupid sister! **

L: there's a rope right here that says, "Pull me to get Ace down". Should I pull it?

A: No! It's a trap! Don't you dare pull that rope, Luffy.

L: then how am I supposed to get you down without you being crushed by furniture?

A:... You could cut the binding that is holding me here.

L: Or I could pull the rope.

A: don't you dare.

L: fine... Where's your knife?

A: on my night stand.

L: Oh. I see it. (Uses rubber ability to reach the sharp object)

A: great now please be careful. I can't turn into fire right now, so don't stab me.

L: yeah yeah. Sure. (With knife in hand) Gomu gomu-

A: (scared for his life) Wait Lu-

L: Knife slash! (Knife flashes through the air twice and just misses ace both times)

A: (falls to the ground) Oof. Are you trying to kill me?

L: (looks innocently) what do you mean?

A: why are you always so reckless?

L: (pouts) I was trying to help...

A: (sighs) I'm sorry. Thank you. You did help. (Hugs his sister) I'm sorry I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (**a/n sorry -.-" I couldn't resist**)

L: it's ok. I want to see what the rope does though.

A: Ok. Just stand clear in case something pops out.

L: Will do! (Pulls rope gleefully)

A: (watches as the bed swings down from the ceiling to land softly back in its original position and the other furniture, his nightstand, wardrobe, dresser, bookcase, etc, did the same.) you have got to be kidding me...

L: (laughs) And you didn't want me to pull it! Haha

A: (glares) well then. I guess that means you don't get any delicious (pulls the package off the door) Redvines!

L: (pouts) You're evil...

A: (shrugs) so?

L: (tries to take the redvines)

A: nuh-uh-uh. Mine.

L: meanie! I'm going to go eat breakfast! I'm hungry! (Dashes back out of the room)

A: (stares after her) what is wrong with the world when a kid like that won't fight for a redvine? (Takes notice to the note still on the door)

Note: How did you like being surprised, Ace? I'll bet you didn't even use the rope to get down. Oh well. Your loss. It sucks when you can't trust people, doesn't it? I hope you learned a lesson from this. I swear if you ever play a prank on your teammate again, I will not even leave the conciliatory Redvines.  
>- Thatch<p>

A: (swallows and looks at the redvines) Understood. (Opens package and munches on redvine) mmm. Best snack ever!

*** I recently re-watched AVPM/S... They have a thing in AVPS about Redvines... So yeah..**

**** This one is from AVPM. Refers to Ron and Jinney's sibling relationship.**

**A/n: I AM SO SORRY! Things have been hectic here and it was hard to find both the time and inspiration to write this one. I hope I didn't fail too badly with it. I had AVPM playing in the back of my mind while I was writing it, hence the heavy references. I don't know how long it will be until I get next chapter up, but I hope it won't be too horribly long.**

**Thank you for reading this, and a special thank you to every one of you who has reviewed/favorited/followed! You people are amazing and without you, I would have left this story at day 6. Also, huge thank you to all those who has left suggestions for what I could do! I may not follow them exactly, but they help to inspire my own thoughts allow me to develop the story line for each day. Thank you thank you thank you!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N umm hi. I'm not really sure how many (if any) remember me or care... It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm really truly sorry about how long it has been. Life has been sort of- hectic? Hmm... Maybe that isn't the right word, but life has certainly not given me any time to write recently. So, again, I really am sorry. I don't know when I'll be able to get the next chapter up after this one, but hopefully it will before summer break... hopefully.**

Day 18

A: no. No. NO! There is NO way I'm doing THAT!

T: Oh you big wussy! Don't be stingy.

A: Heck NO!

T: You still owe me for betraying me.

A: You got your revenge when you put me on my CEILING! I am NOT doing this.

T: I was being lenient then and even gave you Redvines. I could have been a whole lot worse.

A: then that's your problem. I refuse to do this.

T: If you do it, I will forever forgive you.

A: And never ever bring it up again?

T: (nods)

A: (looks from Thatch to "it" and back again) there is really no way out of this, is there?

T: (laughs and shakes his head) nope! Not unless you want to commit suicide, leave the crew, or just flat out lose the war.

A: Death seems the least painful...

T: but then who would protect Luffy from her boyfriend?

A: (glares at thatch) Luffy doesn't have a boyfriend unless I approve. I don't ever remember allowing ANYBODY to touch my little sister, do you?

T: not particularly, however if you die, think about all the-

A: Alright! I get it. I'll do it, but I don't think I'll ever be able to live it down... (Pouts)

T: (does a victory dance in his head) don't worry, Ace. You'll look great (trying-and failing-not to laugh).

A: (pouts and glares) I hate you.

(Out on the island, in front of the bakery)

M: Luffy! Do NOT eat that!

L: (turns head to face Marco, cookie almost touching lips) Why noooot~

M: Unless you have money, you'll be stealing that poor woman's livelihood. We may be pirates, but we're Whitebeard pirates and you are with us for the time being. I will not have you stealing from poor folk and slandering our good name.

L: (pouts) but aren't you going to pay?

M: no!

L: (mumbles) stupid chicken...

M: (pretends not to hear and looks around. After a while, he notices an unknown woman looking at him and shifting her hips, either trying to get comfortable in her clothes, or trying to be seductive... Most likely the former because the latter was not working for her)

Mystery woman: (Approaching Marco, face hidden under a hat) Well hello sir! Fancy meeting a handsome man like you here.

M: ...

Mystery Woman: Don't talk much do you? That's alright. We could get a few drinks, maybe?

M: ...

Mystery woman: No? Aw c'mon. Surely you aren't so busy you can't spare an hour or two?

M: No, I'm not.

Mystery woman: So he does speak! C'mon. Let's go get a drink.

L: Ace? Why are you dressed like a woman?

Mystery Woman: Wh-who's Ace?

M: (Bending down to get at eye-level then bursts out laughing hysterically)

A: (Red faces and angry) LUFFY! Put the camera DOWN!

L: (Takes several pictures and quickly stores them in her hat, Laughing all the while) you're never going to live this down, EVER!

A: Give me those pictures!

L: (still laughing) N-Never!

M: (now with laughter tears) Why-why are y-you dr-dress as a girl?

A: (haughtily) do I have to have a reason?

L: (Laughs harder) are you saying you did this just because you felt like it?

M: (can hardly breathe)

A: (pouting) no!

M: (catching some breath) look! H-he's pouting!

A: (snaps) it's a MANLY pout!

L: oh sure! Says the one pouting while wearing a dress!

A: Give. Me. Those. Pictures.

L: No! (Runs away laughing her head off)

A: (Runs after her... Or tries to but discovers the reason some women call high heels a tool men invented to make them easier to catch)

M: (Watching them run off, still chuckling, and seemingly talking to the air) He still didn't explain why he was dressed as a woman.

T: (appears on the roof of the bakery) isn't it obvious? I told him earlier that if he did it, I would forgive and forget his betrayal and help him with his chores tomorrow. Actually, had to promise the chores part to even consider listening to what I had to say.

M: what were you hoping to gain from this, exactly?

T: Amusement, revenge, justice, laughter, joy, payback, and the list goes on.

M: (laughs) I see. Well it made my day!

T: (laughs) mine as well. (Pauses) so, tell me. Were you actually going to go have a drink with Lady Ace?

M: Speak of this and die.

T: (considers his options) my lips are sealed.

**A/N- Please leave a review! I know it may take a while before I get any more chapters up, but I love to read the reviews. Ideas would be welcomed, whether you think them good or bad or ok.**

**Also, thank you to everyone who still read this chapter. I am truly sorry about both the ridiculously long wait and the terrible quality of the last update. Please forgive me?**

**Oh! And one more thing, though many of you probably skip these A/Ns anyway, could I ask a favor? About three months ago, I started working on another story and I posted the prologue up on fictionpress. If any of you could read it for me and tell me what you think, I could send you a link to it. Please? I would really appreciate it.**

**Thank you.**

**-Indigo**


	19. Chapter 19

Day 19: Ode to the old lady at the bakery

Thatch's PoV

Today was my last day of enslavement. I could finally be rid of my job at the bakery, not that it was bad, but at least I would stop being tormented by delicious scents and I could focus on what was truly important: the war. By now, there isn't a soul alive on the island or on the ship that hasn't heard of the ongoing battle between the four of us. I have to say, I don't particularly like the publicity it's getting, but I'm grateful for all the people who want to help. Their ideas are gold, pure, shiny gold. But now that my days as a baker are over, the income of new ideas to use against team Phoenix King will be left up to only Ace and I, which won't be a problem now, but later, it will be. I'm sure of that.

Being my last day, I thought I would have it easy. I would maybe have a busy day, then hang up my apron and walk out. This, obviously, didn't happen. Just after the old lady and I opened shop, every customer I ever had, including my brothers and sisters, came in and ordered as much as they could eat. Even Luffy. I guess it was the islanders' way of saying farewell, but it was mixed with my family's way of saying "we're going to make this as hard as possible for you because we can." You have got to love family, right? Yeah, maybe if I repeat that enough times I'll believe it myself.

I ended up using every gram of ingredients left in that bakery before I had finished everybody's orders. The old lady, I never really could remember her name, made me go out and get more and told me to "scoot my boot", whatever that meant. But I'm not sour about this at all. I got some pretty interesting equipment for tomorrow's prank day, and, boy, am I excited! Of course I got the ingredients needed as well, but the equipment are far more interesting. I saw Marco gathering items as well, but he didn't see me, thankfully. I didn't look at what he was buying, however. That would have ruined the fun of things.

At the end of the day, my parting with the old lady was not easy and abrupt, like I had wanted and expected, but hard and tearful. She had given me a gift as a thank you, a green box with a bright white ribbon tied on it. Inside was some hair dye, which I had just finished putting in a special someone's shampoo (we'll see how she reacts in the morning, eh?). That woman knew what I would find useful and she gave it to me. I wish I could have helped her out one more day after that, but the Moby Dick leaves in the morning, with or without me, but preferably with. She and I had become partners in crime, helping me think of ways to get back at Ace. She even made a dress that would not only fit him, but make him look like a flattering girl, that is, if you didn't look at his face, which is why we made him wear a hat. She was a lovely old lady, and I'm going to miss her.

**A/N- not too funny, but I want them off the island and back at sea so Thatch could be there on the ship with everybody. But now you know how he got the dress for Ace ^_^ Go old nameless lady!**

**Please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

Day 20: Father's Day

A: Hey! Marco, Thatch!

T: What does he want?

M: Should I turn and run?

T: I don't think so. He isn't planning anything that I know of.

M: That's comforting (sarcasm)

A: What am I going to do?

T: do?

M: for what?

A: For FATHER'S DAY!

M and T: (blank stares) ...

A: You know? The day you show your appreciation for what your father, or father figure(s), have done for you?

M and T: ...

A: That's today?

M and T: WHAT?

A: I know! I totally forgot about it, but I just glanced at the calendar. What are we going to do?

T: Oh hell! Pop is going to think we're terrible.

M: we are terrible.

A: what should we DO?

M: alright, keep calm. We just left the island yesterday, but maybe I can fly back, or Ace can take his skiff, and bring back a gift. Maybe a glass-blown dog, or high-end alcohol, or something?

T: there's no time. We already wasted half the day. If we do something, it has to be on this ship.

A: Fireworks? Create a show using explosives and draw his symbol in the sky with fire?

T: too dangerous. You could burn the ship.

M: Behave like normal people?

A: Not fun. Besides, he'll freak out because we are only ever normal when there has been a death, or we are seriously ill. He'll think something really bad has happened.

T: get him away from the nurses?

M: and do what?

T: I don't know? Allow him to drink this place dry?

A: You might be onto something, there. I don't like the idea of giving him so much alcohol. It's irresponsible and can damage his health too greatly. But if we could combine all our ideas, then we could really have something. Marco, instead of going out to get him alcohol or a glass dog, why don't you tell the cooks to make him something large and extremely special? I doubt they remembered what today was, either, so it'll remind at least some others about Father's Day.

T: what about you and I?

A: You, go keep the nurses at bay and allow him to do whatever he pleases. I'll take care of the fireworks and ... Why is my sister's hair pink?

T: no reason. You were saying?

A: you died her hair pink? Why PINK?

T: I never said that. And because it is a color that doesn't suit her; she's too tomboyish. Please continue.

A: what was I saying?

M: you'll take care of fireworks and- you stopped.

A: oh right. I'll take care of fireworks and Marco, you and I will decorate.

M: sounds good. I'm not sure how I feel about you around explosives, but if you set ANYTHING on fire, I'll dumb your sorry tush into the ocean.

A: understood.

T: why do I get the hard job?

that night- sorry, I want to get this up today, because today is father's day, and I don't have time to write a whole lot of details and yatta yatta yatta

(BOOM)

T: (extremely disheveled from having to keep nurses away without Whitebeard knowing what was going on) (hearing the signal) Pop! Let's go eat!

WB: I'm hungry, but what was that just now? It had better not me another mast or heads will roll.

T: It was nothing to be worried about. Food should be the only thing on your mind.

WB: hmmm...

in the mess hall

T: Pops is IN THE BUILDING!

Pirates: (who wouldn't have remembered the day if it weren't for Marco loudly asking the cooks to make a large and special meal for Whitebeard) HAPPY FATHER'S DAY POP!

WB: (tears of happiness in his eyes) what-? You brats! Don't think this will mean special privileges for anyone!

M: Of course not.

A: We just wanted to do something for the one who gave us a family.

T: Yeah, but you two got the easy jobs.

M: Quit whining.

WB: What did you do?

M: The decorations were Ace and I, and the meal was the chefs and I.

T: I was the reason you were able to drink cup after cup after cup of sake all day.

A: And I was... Well, you'll see.

WB: Why do I get the feeling you're saying that because you know I won't approve.

A: I have no idea what you're talking about, Pop. I would NEVER do ANYTHING that would make you look at me with disappointment in your eyes. It hurts that you would even think I'm capable of such things.

WB: (remembering the first hundred days of knowing Ace and the past few weeks) Shocking, isn't it?

M: Don't worry. He didn't do anything too terrible.

WB: That's doesn't make me feel much better.

T: Don't worry! Enjoy your meal!

after supper

A: EVERYBODY ON THE DECK!

Pirates: TO THE DECK!

WB: Oh dear...

M: (sweat drop)

T: (charging to the deck with the rest of the crew)

A: Happy Father's Day Pop! (Lights a ball of fuses on fire and watches as they reach their respective ends at different times. Each fuse lit a different rocket that shot into the air and exploded in different lights. When the finale was going off, he quickly draws the Whidebeard insignia in the sky so that it would be surrounded by tiny balls of colored fire.)

Pirates: OOOooh- AAAAaaaah-

T: Wow...

M: I never imagined Ace would have an eye for this type of thing...

Wb: ...

A: (show over) So how was it?

Wb: ...

A: Pop?

Wb: ...

A: Pop? You didn't die, did you?

Wb: (hits Ace on the head) BRAT!

A: OW! Hey!

Wb: Don't suspect me of dying until I'm dead! And I thought you were banned from being around ANY form of explosive!

A: Sorry...

Wb: But... The show was beautiful and it filled me with pride to know you're my son. All of you.

A: (smiling broadly)

M: (grins and sticks his tongue out)

T: (laughs)

Wb: but I still disapprove of Ace being the one to be around explosives. I thought you said you would never do anything that would cause me to look at you with disapproval!

A: I said 'disappointment'

M: It was safe. We had a water brigade standing by, just in case.

A: Do you not trust me?

Wb, T, and M: HECK NO!

A/N- Like I said, I wanted to get this up tonight, and I dont have a whole lot of time to write. I hope everybody had a happy Father's Day, even if you aren't a father, and you made your dad feel special and loved.

Please review! All the follows and favorites are great, but reviews are amazingly awesome! So please make my day and leave one :D

See ya!


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